The futures of Bob Monkhouse, Les Dennis, Bruce Forsyth and Tony Slattery are assured! Gameshows are the future of television! Cyanide capsule, anyone?

The future of television is looking very bleak! It’s 1999 and all Hell’s breaking loose over the airwaves! The most popular TV programmes, the gameshows, have become ultra-violent spectacles!

The most popular of these is Smash TV. It offers the best action, most expensive prizes and a stunning body-count!

Contestants enter an arena, armed with only a basic weapon, and battle through to the end. On the way, they encounter vicious thugs, maniac robots and laser-armed tanks. There are also other, inhuman opponents to face. Only the brave survive to become Smash TV Champion!

It’s up to you to guide a contestant around the studio arena, choosing the best way to the exit. Blast enemies, dodge mines and pick up prizes as you go. There are special weapons to collect which provide much-needed firepower. Each section of studio ends with a hideous guardian!

The action’s fast, furious and often fatal! Have you got what it takes to make it to the top?

Good luck! You’ll need it!

Paul sighs... ‘A DEFINITE NON-STARTER!’

Like a total eclipse and Halley’s comet, games like Smash TV are very rare. Mainly because software houses would get a bad reputation if they continued to produce crud like this! GG Smash TV is the worst game I’ve played this year!

It was terrible on the MS so I thought the GG version might be a bit dodgy! I was wrong. It’s dodgy all over — a total turn off, a definite non-starter!

The graphics are terrible. The small grey blokes who move awkwardly across the screen bear little resemblance to gameshow competitors and naff backgrounds and intermission screens put you off before you even play.

The sound’s awful, a monotonous beeping tune overdubbed with tinny, out-of-place sound effects. Thankfully you can turn it off.

But the biggest flaw is that it’s totally unplayable. No matter how hard I tried and what weapon direction I selected, my character was always much slower than the baddies. My gun only fired in fits and starts and every time a bomb exploded the shrapnel always found me!

The only words I can find to describe this game are too strong to print! All that’s left to say is I’d be pretty peeved if I spent nearly £30 on this bucket of chicken droppings!

PAUL 29%

Mat moans... ‘DISASTROUS!’

AAAGGHH! The hideous curse of Smash TV has struck again! I thought I’d seen the last of this when I finished the Smash TV novel way back in Issue 10! But no, it’s reared its ugly little head again and this time it’s on the GG!

Yep, I’m afraid it’s true. The classic Williams coin-op has been converted to our handheld friend with disastrous results! You’d expect the graphics to be small but this is ridiculous! Items such as the pick-ups are small enough on the MD version but here they’re almost invisible!

As with the MS version (reviewed in Issue 11), the gameplay’s painfully slow at times and bad guys tend to pop up from nowhere! In contrast, the music sounds like it’s being played at twice the usual speed! Sound FX are abysmal, with the GG’s custom sound chip barely used at all.

An obvious difference is there’s no two-player option. Luckily, there are more than the usual amount of continues to see you through the toughest sections.

I have absolutely no idea why Flying Edge decided to release this on the GG but I can tell you this is one game that belongs in the arcade and nowhere else! Stay away. You have been warned!

MAT 39%

SF Rating

Presentation
52% - Variable control set-up, lots of continues. Nothing else of note
Visuals
38% - Characters are nearly impossible to see, too much screen flicker
Sonics
26% - Appalling speeded-up music, naff and no speech
Playability
39% - Controls are awkward on every version but downright impossible on the GG
Lastability
42% - Tough and just too frustrating to have long term appeal

34%

A dreadful conversion that never should have happened

Producer
Flying Edge
MD
Out
MS
Out
Memory
256K
Players
1
Price
£27.99
Rating
34
Reviewer
Sega Force magazine
Region
UK
Scans
Sega Force - Issue 14

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