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Chris
  • Guest
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Life Lesson
Post Posted: Tue Jul 27, 1999 10:56 am
Listen, I know my previous postings have been really personal and pretty harsh on certain people. For
that, I am sorry. But I think in that small event of mental confusion that I have come to a realization
(I hope that's is spelled right) and it took a movie to help me bring this out.

You know how in history there have been some individuals who had passions that were a little
different from everyone else? They were indeed normal yet people found them, not exactly crazy
but a little odd. Take a guy like Albert Einstein. Everyone knows he was one of the smartest men
in our history. Now Al wasn't exactly your typical person either. He liked Science and Mathematics.
Most people in his day thought about it when they were purchasing a doughnut or looking at
the stars but never really thought about things the way he did. In short, with the vast knowledge
of information that he found in his passion, which was Science and Mathematics, people couldn't
understand why he was so happy and thought of things the way he did. He was considered crazy.
His teachers thought he was retarded. His peers made fun of him. Why? He was different.

Now I'm thinking, "How can a man go though that? He knows a hell of a lot more than the average
person and he's willing to share his views on life and aspects of it yet people don't want to listen.
He says two words and they become stumped. So they find him crazy. They don't understand
his speech." Meanwhile he ignored all barriers, kept studying, wrote books and became the
most well-known and respected man. You know how people say that some people are put
here on this Earth for certain reasons? Well, I think that he was hear to spread knowledge.

Then I started getting all these bizzare ideas into my head. Stuff like, "Why am I here? What
is my mission in life? What is my purpose? Why am I being introduced to all these things
at such an early age? Why me?" And in a silly way, I'm almost like good ol Al. I'm not
saying that I'm some genious or anything but seriously...something is different about me.

Most people my age listen to heavy metal and hard rock. Well me? I listen to all kinds
of music. I listen to what makes me feel good. I like songs that have good transition and
balance. I like songs with wonder and imagination. Basically I've learned to apreciate
all kinds of music, not just rock and hip hop.

Most people my age smoke weed, blunts, etc. Basically are into drugs. They tell me
stories about them smoking weed and drinking and about how much of a good time
they had. How many spleefs they smoked. How many drops of acid they had and how
hard they were rollin' off of genie pills. Well, me? I've tried to choke down cigar and
cigarette smoke just to impress my friends but it's not like I liked it. I thought it made
me feel smooth and cool. It made me feel hard and rugged. The only problem is
that I'm under aged so the only way I could get them was though my brother or someone
older who could hook me up with a pack. Basically I was breaking my neck to get something
that was eventually going to kill me anyway, just so I could "fit" in with everyone
else. Now I'm not a total spaz. I've been thinking about weed and how it would feel
and I'm very curious about it's effects. I guess it's something I'll try when I get older
I guess. Now, beer? I think it's the nastiest tasting shit. I don't understand why
people drink that crap. It taste disgusting. I don't really like the taste of hard liquor
either but I could stomach a cool glass of white wine before I drink a gulp of Budweiser.
Ewuack!

Most people my age like to watch sports like football and basketball. They keep track of every
single upcomming pre-season, playoff and final game. Me? I like sports. I like to play them and
I like to watch them at times but it's not something that my life revolves around. My friends will
come up to me, "Man, did you see the Bulls and Knicks game last night? Did you see when
Scotty Pippen made that fade-away jumper? That was so bad!" I'm like, "Uhh, no. I was
studying Z80 assembler and looking at the inside of my Master System cartridges." Their like,
"What!? You didn't see that game!!? That was like the best game in a really long time! Man,
you've gotta get away from those computers for a while." The worst feeling is when all of my
friends are together and they start talking about sports. I feel like a total outcast because they're
talking and agreeing on the shit that happend in the game and I have absolutely no idea
because I didn't watch the shit. Also, while everyone else is playing football or basketball
I'm out playing an intense game of tennis or a skilled game of bowling. I still like basketball
and football but I enjoy tennis and bowling more.

Most people my age are doing the wild thang. Pumpin' the honey pot. Chewin' and suckin'.
Having sex. I can't number the countless times my friends have come up to me and told
me stories of pussy. To save myself from embarassment (is that how it's spelled?) I would
lie about false times I had the shit even though I didn't. I still haven't had it. I want it.
I really want it bad. But I haven't had it. Hell, I haven't even had a girlfriend. I'm the
type of guy who gets lucky I guess. I've come so very close but I guess it wasn't my time
to have it. And it seems like every time I talk with a girl, their ether really odd in the head
or their involved in a relationship and they expect me to give them support. I'm like,
"Uhh huh...Okay...Yeah...He's a dog...You should find someone new I guess...Oh, so you
love him..." I'm sick of being someone's shoulder to lean on when times get rough. I almost
feel like breaking down and saying at times, "Damn it woman! I don't want to be your
fuckin' therapast! I want to be your lover! Can't you see that I don't give a damn about your
current relationship?" But as soon as that is said I'm left even more alone I bet. It's weird.
They find me humorous and they find me friendly but I can't begin to list how many times
girls have said in someway, "You're cute and you're a nice friend. But I don't wanna hook
up." I don't know. I guess I'm not persistant. I ruin too many good chances I guess. I do
get out and I get around...just not sexually.

Most people my age either don't really know shit about the internet or they know enough to
sign onto AOL and print stupid ASCII drawings in chat rooms like it's really cool or something. I meet
people at school who tell me, "Yeah man, I'm a hacker, a programmer, and I know a lot about
hardware." As soon as they say a couple of words I almost feel like saying, "You are soooo full
of shit you fuckin' liar! You couldn't figure your way out of a paper bag you worthless clump of
shit!" They think that they know so much shit and their so smart just because they can use these
dime a dozen internet manipulation programs and stuff. It's ridiculous. Oh, and 90% of
the smucks tell me, "Yeah man, I'm really advanced with programming." I'd say, "Oh, I'm
pretty advanced myself. What languages do you know and what kinds of stuff can you do
with em'?" Their like, "Well, I know Visual Basic, Qbasic, and a little bit of C++. I can
write AOL hack programs and stuff." I'd say, "Really?" while I'm trying my hardest not to insult
the bastard. I'd politely say, "Lemme guess. When you're writing the AOL hack program you
go onto the net, search for 3rd party hackers .BAS and .DLL files, you type mabye 10 or
15 lines of code to include the functions and manipulate AOL, Right?" Their like, "Yeah!
How'd you know? Are you really into this stuff and you just aren't telling me?" I'd say, "Nah."
and leave it at that. Basically I know a bit more than the average computer user. And everyday
I'm living out my child hood dream, which was to learn as much as possible on video games and
how they are developed. I spend countless hours on the net talking with programming veterans
about emulator programming and ancient hardware and systems. I download documents on old
and new processors. In the past 2 years I've collected vast amounts of information on binary,
hex, older computer systems, how computers work (start to finish), and my biggest accomplishments
is that I've discovered Visual Basic, QBasic, C/C++, MIDI music development and sequencing and I'm
currently studying Assembler. Not to mention the fact that I discovered how our modern day urban
world revolves around electronics. It's amazing how I can look at a piece of electronic, such as a TV
remote and get countless ideas and theories as to how it works.

So basically I'm not like the average kid and it makes me wonder sometimes, "How did all of
this happen? Now that I'm learning all of this new and facinating stuff what can I do with it?"
And indeed I do get discouraged and confused like the last couple of days. But now, after watching
a great movie it has made me realize something about us as a people...

We are all different! We all have different desires, passions, and ideas on thinking. That is what
makes us special. That is what makes us human. And I've learned not to hinder the uniquefullness
that others are so confused by but to appreciate it. Just because I'm not like everyone else dosen't
mean that I shouldn't feel proud about what I do. I mean so what if what I do isn't the most popular
subject on the internet or in the world for that matter. I am a programmer. I study video game
systems and consoles, and read about old and new computer processors. And instead of
feeling bad and confused about what I do I need to feel good about myself and ignore all
barriers like Albert Einstein and all the other magnificent people in history did. And I think
my purpose in life is to study as much as I can, pass on my information to others and do something
that will make a vast impact. I don't know whether it be province wide, country wide or even world
wide. But I think I'm stupposed to be doing something, I just don't know what. I'll figure it out
someday.

Sorry about my past posts,

Chris :o)

 
  • Joined: 12 Jul 1999
  • Posts: 882
Reply with quote
Wha...?
Post Posted: Tue Jul 27, 1999 4:00 pm
Wow.

Quote
> Listen, I know my previous postings have been really personal and pretty harsh on certain people. For
> that, I am sorry. But I think in that small event of mental confusion that I have come to a realization
> (I hope that's is spelled right) and it took a movie to help me bring this out.

> You know how in history there have been some individuals who had passions that were a little
> different from everyone else? They were indeed normal yet people found them, not exactly crazy
> but a little odd. Take a guy like Albert Einstein. Everyone knows he was one of the smartest men
> in our history. Now Al wasn't exactly your typical person either. He liked Science and Mathematics.
> Most people in his day thought about it when they were purchasing a doughnut or looking at
> the stars but never really thought about things the way he did. In short, with the vast knowledge
> of information that he found in his passion, which was Science and Mathematics, people couldn't
> understand why he was so happy and thought of things the way he did. He was considered crazy.
> His teachers thought he was retarded. His peers made fun of him. Why? He was different.

> Now I'm thinking, "How can a man go though that? He knows a hell of a lot more than the average
> person and he's willing to share his views on life and aspects of it yet people don't want to listen.
> He says two words and they become stumped. So they find him crazy. They don't understand
> his speech." Meanwhile he ignored all barriers, kept studying, wrote books and became the
> most well-known and respected man. You know how people say that some people are put
> here on this Earth for certain reasons? Well, I think that he was hear to spread knowledge.

> Then I started getting all these bizzare ideas into my head. Stuff like, "Why am I here? What
> is my mission in life? What is my purpose? Why am I being introduced to all these things
> at such an early age? Why me?" And in a silly way, I'm almost like good ol Al. I'm not
> saying that I'm some genious or anything but seriously...something is different about me.

Are you comparing yourself to Einstein?

Quote
> Most people my age listen to heavy metal and hard rock. Well me? I listen to all kinds
> of music. I listen to what makes me feel good. I like songs that have good transition and
> balance. I like songs with wonder and imagination. Basically I've learned to apreciate
> all kinds of music, not just rock and hip hop.

What's wrong with that?

Quote
> Most people my age smoke weed, blunts, etc. Basically are into drugs. They tell me
> stories about them smoking weed and drinking and about how much of a good time
> they had. How many spleefs they smoked. How many drops of acid they had and how
> hard they were rollin' off of genie pills. Well, me? I've tried to choke down cigar and
> cigarette smoke just to impress my friends but it's not like I liked it. I thought it made
> me feel smooth and cool. It made me feel hard and rugged. The only problem is
> that I'm under aged so the only way I could get them was though my brother or someone
> older who could hook me up with a pack. Basically I was breaking my neck to get something
> that was eventually going to kill me anyway, just so I could "fit" in with everyone
> else. Now I'm not a total spaz. I've been thinking about weed and how it would feel
> and I'm very curious about it's effects. I guess it's something I'll try when I get older
> I guess.

I wouldn't reccomend it. If you can't hack cigarettes, you can't hack a toke of pot. It's an escape though, if that's what you're after. Try writing a song for every time you feel depressed or whatever. It's a lot easier and better for you.
Quote
>Now, beer? I think it's the nastiest tasting shit. I don't understand why
> people drink that crap. It taste disgusting. I don't really like the taste of hard liquor
> either but I could stomach a cool glass of white wine before I drink a gulp of Budweiser.
> Ewuack!

YES!!!!! I AGREE!!!!! (except about the hard liquor & white wine)

Quote
> Most people my age like to watch sports like football and basketball. They keep track of every
> single upcomming pre-season, playoff and final game. Me? I like sports. I like to play them and
> I like to watch them at times but it's not something that my life revolves around. My friends will
> come up to me, "Man, did you see the Bulls and Knicks game last night? Did you see when
> Scotty Pippen made that fade-away jumper? That was so bad!" I'm like, "Uhh, no. I was
> studying Z80 assembler and looking at the inside of my Master System cartridges." Their like,
> "What!? You didn't see that game!!? That was like the best game in a really long time! Man,
> you've gotta get away from those computers for a while." The worst feeling is when all of my
> friends are together and they start talking about sports. I feel like a total outcast because they're
> talking and agreeing on the shit that happend in the game and I have absolutely no idea
> because I didn't watch the shit. Also, while everyone else is playing football or basketball
> I'm out playing an intense game of tennis or a skilled game of bowling. I still like basketball
> and football but I enjoy tennis and bowling more.

Sport just plain sucks!!! Getting hot & sweaty with a bunch of guys in tight shorts (have you ever seen Australian Rules Football?) just does *NOT* appeal to me

Quote
> Most people my age are doing the wild thang. Pumpin' the honey pot. Chewin' and suckin'.
> Having sex. I can't number the countless times my friends have come up to me and told
> me stories of pussy. To save myself from embarassment (is that how it's spelled?) I would
> lie about false times I had the shit even though I didn't. I still haven't had it. I want it.
> I really want it bad. But I haven't had it. Hell, I haven't even had a girlfriend. I'm the
> type of guy who gets lucky I guess. I've come so very close but I guess it wasn't my time
> to have it. And it seems like every time I talk with a girl, their ether really odd in the head
> or their involved in a relationship and they expect me to give them support. I'm like,
> "Uhh huh...Okay...Yeah...He's a dog...You should find someone new I guess...Oh, so you
> love him..." I'm sick of being someone's shoulder to lean on when times get rough. I almost
> feel like breaking down and saying at times, "Damn it woman! I don't want to be your
> fuckin' therapast! I want to be your lover! Can't you see that I don't give a damn about your
> current relationship?" But as soon as that is said I'm left even more alone I bet. It's weird.
> They find me humorous and they find me friendly but I can't begin to list how many times
> girls have said in someway, "You're cute and you're a nice friend. But I don't wanna hook
> up." I don't know. I guess I'm not persistant. I ruin too many good chances I guess. I do
> get out and I get around...just not sexually.

What can I say? There is somebody else out there who is just like me. Shit.
That whole paragraph describes exactly what I go through. Wow!

Quote
> Most people my age either don't really know shit about the internet or they know enough to
> sign onto AOL and print stupid ASCII drawings in chat rooms like it's really cool or something. I meet
> people at school who tell me, "Yeah man, I'm a hacker, a programmer, and I know a lot about
> hardware." As soon as they say a couple of words I almost feel like saying, "You are soooo full
> of shit you fuckin' liar! You couldn't figure your way out of a paper bag you worthless clump of
> shit!" They think that they know so much shit and their so smart just because they can use these
> dime a dozen internet manipulation programs and stuff. It's ridiculous. Oh, and 90% of
> the smucks tell me, "Yeah man, I'm really advanced with programming." I'd say, "Oh, I'm
> pretty advanced myself. What languages do you know and what kinds of stuff can you do
> with em'?" Their like, "Well, I know Visual Basic, Qbasic, and a little bit of C++. I can
> write AOL hack programs and stuff." I'd say, "Really?" while I'm trying my hardest not to insult
> the bastard. I'd politely say, "Lemme guess. When you're writing the AOL hack program you
> go onto the net, search for 3rd party hackers .BAS and .DLL files, you type mabye 10 or
> 15 lines of code to include the functions and manipulate AOL, Right?" Their like, "Yeah!
> How'd you know? Are you really into this stuff and you just aren't telling me?" I'd say, "Nah."
> and leave it at that. Basically I know a bit more than the average computer user. And everyday
> I'm living out my child hood dream, which was to learn as much as possible on video games and
> how they are developed. I spend countless hours on the net talking with programming veterans
> about emulator programming and ancient hardware and systems. I download documents on old
> and new processors. In the past 2 years I've collected vast amounts of information on binary,
> hex, older computer systems, how computers work (start to finish), and my biggest accomplishments
> is that I've discovered Visual Basic, QBasic, C/C++, MIDI music development and sequencing and I'm
> currently studying Assembler. Not to mention the fact that I discovered how our modern day urban
> world revolves around electronics. It's amazing how I can look at a piece of electronic, such as a TV
> remote and get countless ideas and theories as to how it works.

Duhh...

Quote
> So basically I'm not like the average kid and it makes me wonder sometimes, "How did all of
> this happen? Now that I'm learning all of this new and facinating stuff what can I do with it?"
> And indeed I do get discouraged and confused like the last couple of days. But now, after watching
> a great movie it has made me realize something about us as a people...

What movie was it?

Quote
> We are all different! We all have different desires, passions, and ideas on thinking. That is what
> makes us special. That is what makes us human. And I've learned not to hinder the uniquefullness
> that others are so confused by but to appreciate it. Just because I'm not like everyone else dosen't
> mean that I shouldn't feel proud about what I do. I mean so what if what I do isn't the most popular
> subject on the internet or in the world for that matter. I am a programmer. I study video game
> systems and consoles, and read about old and new computer processors. And instead of
> feeling bad and confused about what I do I need to feel good about myself and ignore all
> barriers like Albert Einstein and all the other magnificent people in history did. And I think
> my purpose in life is to study as much as I can, pass on my information to others and do something
> that will make a vast impact. I don't know whether it be province wide, country wide or even world
> wide. But I think I'm stupposed to be doing something, I just don't know what. I'll figure it out
> someday.

> Sorry about my past posts,

> Chris :o)
>

Well, what can I say?
I feel your pain? (no, that sounds too corny...)
I know what it's like. Yeah. Rest assured that you are not the only person out there that feels alienated by society in general. The pressure to fit in, to conform, to be 'normal' builds against us all.
By all rights I should be railing you for writing an essay about your life on a programmers' messageboard, but I will refrain from doing so. I understand you completely. Well, almost.
Your life sounds a lot like mine. The comforting/therapist thing, for instance. I have had that happen to me so many times that I came up with a word describing what it is like. "Comfort Pawn" It makes for a great lyric in a song.
I would say that you will find the right girl for you one day, but I also happen to know that when this happens, you find out that you are not the right guy/she does not care/she is a lesbian. The last one may sound pretty cool, but it's not fun, man. Not fun at all.

Just be yourself; nobody has the right to bag you for being that.
Always be a genleman to the women; It might not get you anywhere straight away, but you do score points against a future relationship (I hope ;)

You're still young. (slight self-deprivation here, I'm only 19)
Keep smiling.
-unfnknblvbl
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Nyef
  • Guest
Reply with quote
"Wha...?" Indeed.
Post Posted: Tue Jul 27, 1999 4:43 pm
Quote
> Wow.

"Wow" is one way of putting it, yes.

Quote
> > Then I started getting all these bizzare ideas into my head. Stuff like, "Why am I here? What
> > is my mission in life? What is my purpose? Why am I being introduced to all these things
> > at such an early age? Why me?" And in a silly way, I'm almost like good ol Al. I'm not
> > saying that I'm some genious or anything but seriously...something is different about me.

> Are you comparing yourself to Einstein?

I think he might be. I'm not sure he got the background right, though.

Quote
> > Most people my age listen to heavy metal and hard rock. Well me? I listen to all kinds
> > of music. I listen to what makes me feel good. I like songs that have good transition and
> > balance. I like songs with wonder and imagination. Basically I've learned to apreciate
> > all kinds of music, not just rock and hip hop.

> What's wrong with that?

Nothing, as long as he doesn't like the more extreme forms of rap (sorry, pet peeve). :-)

There's this theory that most kids only listen to that stuff because of peer pressure. Sort of a
vicious cycle there...

Quote
> I wouldn't reccomend it. If you can't hack cigarettes, you can't hack a toke of pot. It's an escape
> though, if that's what you're after. Try writing a song for every time you feel depressed or whatever.
> It's a lot easier and better for you.

Umm... is that bit about pot from personal experience?

Quote
> >Now, beer? I think it's the nastiest tasting shit. I don't understand why
> > people drink that crap. It taste disgusting. I don't really like the taste of hard liquor
> > either but I could stomach a cool glass of white wine before I drink a gulp of Budweiser.
> > Ewuack!

> YES!!!!! I AGREE!!!!! (except about the hard liquor & white wine)

Alcahol(sp?) should only be used for cooking (and occasionally as a power source, but that's another matter). :-)

Quote
> Sport just plain sucks!!! Getting hot & sweaty with a bunch of guys in tight shorts (have you ever
> seen Australian Rules Football?) just does *NOT* appeal to me

Not all sports suck, just "Spectator sports". Jogging/biking/walking/karate/swimming can be fun.

ObSMS: Even "Great" sport games suck. That's just the way it is. :-)

Quote
> > So basically I'm not like the average kid and it makes me wonder sometimes, "How did all of
> > this happen? Now that I'm learning all of this new and facinating stuff what can I do with it?"
> > And indeed I do get discouraged and confused like the last couple of days. But now, after watching
> > a great movie it has made me realize something about us as a people...

> What movie was it?

> > We are all different! We all have different desires, passions, and ideas on thinking. That is what
> > makes us special. That is what makes us human. And I've learned not to hinder the uniquefullness
> > that others are so confused by but to appreciate it. Just because I'm not like everyone else dosen't
> > mean that I shouldn't feel proud about what I do. I mean so what if what I do isn't the most popular
> > subject on the internet or in the world for that matter. I am a programmer. I study video game
> > systems and consoles, and read about old and new computer processors. And instead of
> > feeling bad and confused about what I do I need to feel good about myself and ignore all
> > barriers like Albert Einstein and all the other magnificent people in history did. And I think
> > my purpose in life is to study as much as I can, pass on my information to others and do something
> > that will make a vast impact. I don't know whether it be province wide, country wide or even world
> > wide. But I think I'm stupposed to be doing something, I just don't know what. I'll figure it out
> > someday.

heh. My purpose in life is to have as much fun as possible doing what I like doing. Nothing more, nothing less.

Quote
> > Sorry about my past posts,

> > Chris :o)

> Well, what can I say?
> I feel your pain? (no, that sounds too corny...)

Waay too corny. :-)

Quote
> I know what it's like. Yeah. Rest assured that you are not the only person out there that feels alienated by
> society in general. The pressure to fit in, to conform, to be 'normal' builds against us all.

So just accept that you aren't "normal" and figure out some way of being creatively wierd. :-)

Quote
> By all rights I should be railing you for writing an essay about your life on a programmers' messageboard,
> but I will refrain from doing so. I understand you completely. Well, almost.

But we would have preferred something more on topic. Like bashing sports video games when you
had the chance.

Quote
> Your life sounds a lot like mine. The comforting/therapist thing, for instance. I have had that happen
> to me so many times that I came up with a word describing what it is like. "Comfort Pawn" It makes for
> a great lyric in a song.

Preferably one of those melancholic ones with a complex melody. :-)

Quote
> I would say that you will find the right girl for you one day, but I also happen to know that when this
> happens, you find out that you are not the right guy/she does not care/she is a lesbian. The last one
> may sound pretty cool, but it's not fun, man. Not fun at all.

Unless you happen to be a lesbian as well.

Quote
> Just be yourself; nobody has the right to bag you for being that.

Unless you're a black man living a century or so ago.

Quote
> Always be a genleman to the women; It might not get you anywhere straight away, but you do
> score points against a future relationship (I hope ;)

Failing that, at least you get a reputation for being a gentleman, which wouldn't be so bad.

Quote
> You're still young. (slight self-deprivation here, I'm only 19)

Shouldn't that be "self-depreciation"?

Quote
> Keep smiling.

"Cut the check" (just try to guess what I'm quoting here). :-)

Quote
> -unfnknblvbl

--Nyef
 
Chris
  • Guest
Reply with quote
Re: Wha...?
Post Posted: Tue Jul 27, 1999 4:52 pm
Quote
> Are you comparing yourself to Einstein?

Just an analogy.

Quote
> What's wrong with that?

People are going to look at you damn weird when you tell them the beautiful song that plays in
a game. The worst thing people can do is turn the sound off to a video game. That's like cutting
off the music and speech to a movie. You miss so much important shit. There are some exceptions
to the rule though. A game like Marble Madness the sound seriously needs to be turned off. But
a game like Tekken 3 or Soul Blade/Edge needs to be kept on, ya know?

Quote
> I wouldn't reccomend it. If you can't hack cigarettes, you can't hack a toke of pot. It's an escape though, if that's what you're after. Try writing a song for every time you feel depressed or whatever. It's a lot easier and better for you.

> YES!!!!! I AGREE!!!!! (except about the hard liquor & white wine)

Like I said. I can drink wine and keep a straight face (I don't favor the alcoholic aftertaste though). But
Gin, especially Wiskey all that shit taste disgusting to me. Vodka is pretty nice with OJ though.

Quote
> What can I say? There is somebody else out there who is just like me. Shit.
> That whole paragraph describes exactly what I go through. Wow!

Man, and I always thought I was the only one. I should be saying Wow!

Quote
> What movie was it?

It was one of the sleezy Adult Showtime (Cable movie network channel). But this one was different.
It was very clean and mature. Usually they have these pathetic breast implanted rich blonde
spoiled bimbos who have the weakest acts of sex that anyone could go though. This one was
different. It had a nice natural brunette with a pretty face and a bit of body fat (I love that shit!
Not too skinny and not too big. Just in the middle, which is realistic in our time and age). I think
it was called Forbidden Pleasures or something like that. It had a nice plot (for once among the
sleezeball hbo/showtime porn) and an interesting setting and characters. And there weren't
just random lewd sex acts either. It was realistic in the sense that you can't just walk up to someone
and say, "Hey! You're pretty hot, ya know? Wanna fuck?" Then the bitch is like, "Sure! Come over
at 8:00. I'll be spread and waiting for you." The only way you can get a woman like that is
if she's a prostitute or just a total slut. I don't like those type of girls. We all need morals and
cleanliness, right?

"Comfort Pawn" It makes for a great lyric in a song.

What do you mean Comfort Pawn? Are you talking about a chess move or something? I'm lost.

Quote
> I would say that you will find the right girl for you one day, but I also happen to know that when this happens, you find out that you are not the right guy/she does not care/she is a lesbian. The last one may sound pretty cool, but it's not fun, man. Not fun at all.

Uhh, so you mean you humped a chick who later turned out to be a lezbo? I'm lost again.

Quote
> Always be a genleman to the women; It might not get you anywhere straight away, but you do score points against a future relationship (I hope ;)

Trust me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being too good of a gentlemen and I'm not being agressive enough,
thus resulting in no lovin'. I think I need to take more chances in the touchy-feely area. I've been tought
"Never touch a lady and a way she dosen't like to be touched." yet at times it's like their waiting for me
to touch them and stuff. I guess I'm a bit afraid of the wrong reaction, ya know?

Quote
> You're still young. (slight self-deprivation here, I'm only 19)

You're still young too. It's not like you're 35 and shit. You're only 4 years older than me so chill.
 
Lin Ke-Fong
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Whaou! Pheewwww
Post Posted: Tue Jul 27, 1999 5:47 pm
Quote
> Listen, I know my previous postings have been really personal and pretty harsh on certain people. For
> that, I am sorry. But I think in that small event of mental confusion that I have come to a realization
> (I hope that's is spelled right) and it took a movie to help me bring this out.

And according to other postings, it was a porn movie? Hey man you're too funky!

Quote
> You know how in history there have been some individuals who had passions that were a little
> different from everyone else? They were indeed normal yet people found them, not exactly crazy
> but a little odd. Take a guy like Albert Einstein. Everyone knows he was one of the smartest men
> in our history. Now Al wasn't exactly your typical person either. He liked Science and Mathematics.
> Most people in his day thought about it when they were purchasing a doughnut or looking at
> the stars but never really thought about things the way he did. In short, with the vast knowledge
> of information that he found in his passion, which was Science and Mathematics, people couldn't
> understand why he was so happy and thought of things the way he did. He was considered crazy.
> His teachers thought he was retarded. His peers made fun of him. Why? He was different.

Yeah, Pepsi think different, or Apple think different.

Quote
> Now I'm thinking, "How can a man go though that? He knows a hell of a lot more than the average
> person and he's willing to share his views on life and aspects of it yet people don't want to listen.
> He says two words and they become stumped. So they find him crazy. They don't understand
> his speech." Meanwhile he ignored all barriers, kept studying, wrote books and became the
> most well-known and respected man. You know how people say that some people are put
> here on this Earth for certain reasons? Well, I think that he was hear to spread knowledge.

You're right here on earth to spice up this programming forum, and well you have been very
successful :)

Quote
> Then I started getting all these bizzare ideas into my head. Stuff like, "Why am I here? What
> is my mission in life? What is my purpose? Why am I being introduced to all these things
> at such an early age? Why me?" And in a silly way, I'm almost like good ol Al. I'm not
> saying that I'm some genious or anything but seriously...something is different about me.

Everybody is different, that's what make people interesting.

Quote
> Most people my age listen to heavy metal and hard rock. Well me? I listen to all kinds
> of music. I listen to what makes me feel good. I like songs that have good transition and
> balance. I like songs with wonder and imagination. Basically I've learned to apreciate
> all kinds of music, not just rock and hip hop.

You're doing the right thing.

Quote
> Most people my age smoke weed, blunts, etc. Basically are into drugs. They tell me
> stories about them smoking weed and drinking and about how much of a good time
> they had. How many spleefs they smoked. How many drops of acid they had and how
> hard they were rollin' off of genie pills. Well, me? I've tried to choke down cigar and
> cigarette smoke just to impress my friends but it's not like I liked it. I thought it made
> me feel smooth and cool. It made me feel hard and rugged. The only problem is
> that I'm under aged so the only way I could get them was though my brother or someone
> older who could hook me up with a pack. Basically I was breaking my neck to get something
> that was eventually going to kill me anyway, just so I could "fit" in with everyone
> else. Now I'm not a total spaz. I've been thinking about weed and how it would feel
> and I'm very curious about it's effects. I guess it's something I'll try when I get older
> I guess. Now, beer? I think it's the nastiest tasting shit. I don't understand why
> people drink that crap. It taste disgusting. I don't really like the taste of hard liquor
> either but I could stomach a cool glass of white wine before I drink a gulp of Budweiser.
> Ewuack!

Budweiser sucks, I can't understand why americans drink that sort of shit like Budweiser or Miller,
try Bavaria, Heineken or Guiness that's true beer.

About smoking and drinking, well I understand that at your age, people tend to like to
impress others and trying looking older. Be yourself. If you don't want to smoke don't, if you don't
want to drink don't.

However your friends are a little bit crazy to take AcId, do they want to end their life in a
mental disease center? Drink and hemp are no danger but acid can really fuck up your brain.

But well I must admit that a rave party with good hemp and beer is great :)

Quote
> Most people my age like to watch sports like football and basketball. They keep track of every
> single upcomming pre-season, playoff and final game. Me? I like sports. I like to play them and
> I like to watch them at times but it's not something that my life revolves around. My friends will
> come up to me, "Man, did you see the Bulls and Knicks game last night? Did you see when
> Scotty Pippen made that fade-away jumper? That was so bad!" I'm like, "Uhh, no. I was
> studying Z80 assembler and looking at the inside of my Master System cartridges." Their like,
> "What!? You didn't see that game!!? That was like the best game in a really long time! Man,
> you've gotta get away from those computers for a while." The worst feeling is when all of my
> friends are together and they start talking about sports. I feel like a total outcast because they're
> talking and agreeing on the shit that happend in the game and I have absolutely no idea
> because I didn't watch the shit. Also, while everyone else is playing football or basketball
> I'm out playing an intense game of tennis or a skilled game of bowling. I still like basketball
> and football but I enjoy tennis and bowling more.

I can't help you, probably you and your friends have different tastes.
You're different :)

Un esprit saint dans un corps saint.

A cool spirit in a cool body?

Quote
> Most people my age are doing the wild thang. Pumpin' the honey pot. Chewin' and suckin'.
> Having sex. I can't number the countless times my friends have come up to me and told
> me stories of pussy. To save myself from embarassment (is that how it's spelled?) I would
> lie about false times I had the shit even though I didn't. I still haven't had it. I want it.
> I really want it bad. But I haven't had it. Hell, I haven't even had a girlfriend. I'm the
> type of guy who gets lucky I guess. I've come so very close but I guess it wasn't my time
> to have it. And it seems like every time I talk with a girl, their ether really odd in the head
> or their involved in a relationship and they expect me to give them support. I'm like,
> "Uhh huh...Okay...Yeah...He's a dog...You should find someone new I guess...Oh, so you
> love him..." I'm sick of being someone's shoulder to lean on when times get rough. I almost
> feel like breaking down and saying at times, "Damn it woman! I don't want to be your
> fuckin' therapast! I want to be your lover! Can't you see that I don't give a damn about your
> current relationship?" But as soon as that is said I'm left even more alone I bet. It's weird.
> They find me humorous and they find me friendly but I can't begin to list how many times
> girls have said in someway, "You're cute and you're a nice friend. But I don't wanna hook
> up." I don't know. I guess I'm not persistant. I ruin too many good chances I guess. I do
> get out and I get around...just not sexually.

About your friend story's about pussies, that's fucking bullshit, they probably make the story look bigger
than it is. But when you'll be older, in university for instance, people talk less about their sexual exploits,
but it's more hardcore I guess, they are ashame that they are horny perverts...

Don't be desesparate, you'll find a girl.

Quote
> Most people my age either don't really know shit about the internet or they know enough to
> sign onto AOL and print stupid ASCII drawings in chat rooms like it's really cool or something. I meet
> people at school who tell me, "Yeah man, I'm a hacker, a programmer, and I know a lot about
> hardware." As soon as they say a couple of words I almost feel like saying, "You are soooo full
> of shit you fuckin' liar! You couldn't figure your way out of a paper bag you worthless clump of
> shit!" They think that they know so much shit and their so smart just because they can use these
> dime a dozen internet manipulation programs and stuff. It's ridiculous. Oh, and 90% of
> the smucks tell me, "Yeah man, I'm really advanced with programming." I'd say, "Oh, I'm
> pretty advanced myself. What languages do you know and what kinds of stuff can you do
> with em'?" Their like, "Well, I know Visual Basic, Qbasic, and a little bit of C++. I can
> write AOL hack programs and stuff." I'd say, "Really?" while I'm trying my hardest not to insult
> the bastard. I'd politely say, "Lemme guess. When you're writing the AOL hack program you
> go onto the net, search for 3rd party hackers .BAS and .DLL files, you type mabye 10 or
> 15 lines of code to include the functions and manipulate AOL, Right?" Their like, "Yeah!
> How'd you know? Are you really into this stuff and you just aren't telling me?" I'd say, "Nah."
> and leave it at that. Basically I know a bit more than the average computer user. And everyday
> I'm living out my child hood dream, which was to learn as much as possible on video games and
> how they are developed. I spend countless hours on the net talking with programming veterans
> about emulator programming and ancient hardware and systems. I download documents on old
> and new processors. In the past 2 years I've collected vast amounts of information on binary,
> hex, older computer systems, how computers work (start to finish), and my biggest accomplishments
> is that I've discovered Visual Basic, QBasic, C/C++, MIDI music development and sequencing and I'm
> currently studying Assembler. Not to mention the fact that I discovered how our modern day urban
> world revolves around electronics. It's amazing how I can look at a piece of electronic, such as a TV
> remote and get countless ideas and theories as to how it works.

If you understand french, take a look to www.multimania.com/~azerty, it's about people who wants to
look like hacker when they are lames.

Quote
> So basically I'm not like the average kid and it makes me wonder sometimes, "How did all of
> this happen? Now that I'm learning all of this new and facinating stuff what can I do with it?"
> And indeed I do get discouraged and confused like the last couple of days. But now, after watching
> a great movie it has made me realize something about us as a people...

Must be a great movie! :)

Quote
> We are all different! We all have different desires, passions, and ideas on thinking. That is what
> makes us special. That is what makes us human. And I've learned not to hinder the uniquefullness
> that others are so confused by but to appreciate it. Just because I'm not like everyone else dosen't
> mean that I shouldn't feel proud about what I do. I mean so what if what I do isn't the most popular
> subject on the internet or in the world for that matter. I am a programmer. I study video game
> systems and consoles, and read about old and new computer processors. And instead of
> feeling bad and confused about what I do I need to feel good about myself and ignore all
> barriers like Albert Einstein and all the other magnificent people in history did. And I think
> my purpose in life is to study as much as I can, pass on my information to others and do something
> that will make a vast impact. I don't know whether it be province wide, country wide or even world
> wide. But I think I'm stupposed to be doing something, I just don't know what. I'll figure it out
> someday.

Don't worry, you're doing the right thing.

I am nearly 22, life's not easy, but as Nyef said try to have the more fun from what you're doing.
I am sure you'll find a girl.

Quote
> Sorry about my past posts,

It's okay.
 
  • Joined: 12 Jul 1999
  • Posts: 882
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Re: Wha...?
Post Posted: Wed Jul 28, 1999 8:08 am
Quote
> > Are you comparing yourself to Einstein?

> Just an analogy.

> > What's wrong with that?

> People are going to look at you damn weird when you tell them the beautiful song that plays in
> a game. The worst thing people can do is turn the sound off to a video game. That's like cutting
> off the music and speech to a movie. You miss so much important shit. There are some exceptions
> to the rule though. A game like Marble Madness the sound seriously needs to be turned off. But
> a game like Tekken 3 or Soul Blade/Edge needs to be kept on, ya know?

> > I wouldn't reccomend it. If you can't hack cigarettes, you can't hack a toke of pot. It's an escape though, if that's what you're after. Try writing a song for every time you feel depressed or whatever. It's a lot easier and better for you.

> > YES!!!!! I AGREE!!!!! (except about the hard liquor & white wine)

> Like I said. I can drink wine and keep a straight face (I don't favor the alcoholic aftertaste though). But
> Gin, especially Wiskey all that shit taste disgusting to me. Vodka is pretty nice with OJ though.
>
> > What can I say? There is somebody else out there who is just like me. Shit.
> > That whole paragraph describes exactly what I go through. Wow!

> Man, and I always thought I was the only one. I should be saying Wow!

> > What movie was it?

> It was one of the sleezy Adult Showtime (Cable movie network channel). But this one was different.
> It was very clean and mature. Usually they have these pathetic breast implanted rich blonde
> spoiled bimbos who have the weakest acts of sex that anyone could go though. This one was
> different. It had a nice natural brunette with a pretty face and a bit of body fat (I love that shit!
> Not too skinny and not too big. Just in the middle, which is realistic in our time and age). I think
> it was called Forbidden Pleasures or something like that. It had a nice plot (for once among the
> sleezeball hbo/showtime porn) and an interesting setting and characters. And there weren't
> just random lewd sex acts either. It was realistic in the sense that you can't just walk up to someone
> and say, "Hey! You're pretty hot, ya know? Wanna fuck?" Then the bitch is like, "Sure! Come over
> at 8:00. I'll be spread and waiting for you." The only way you can get a woman like that is
> if she's a prostitute or just a total slut. I don't like those type of girls. We all need morals and
> cleanliness, right?

> "Comfort Pawn" It makes for a great lyric in a song.

> What do you mean Comfort Pawn? Are you talking about a chess move or something? I'm lost.

Umm... I actually don't really know. It just sounds good.

Quote
> > I would say that you will find the right girl for you one day, but I also happen to know that when this happens, you find out that you are not the right guy/she does not care/she is a lesbian. The last one may sound pretty cool, but it's not fun, man. Not fun at all.

> Uhh, so you mean you humped a chick who later turned out to be a lezbo? I'm lost again.

I wouldn't have minded so much if had actually got to do her, but she led me on (and still does) something chronic for a year or so, untill I finally got the self-confidance to ask her out and she told me she was a lesbian. I very nearly killed myself, in fact, I'm still not quite sure if I want to do it or not.

Quote
> > Always be a genleman to the women; It might not get you anywhere straight away, but you do score points against a future relationship (I hope ;)

> Trust me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being too good of a gentlemen and I'm not being agressive enough,
> thus resulting in no lovin'. I think I need to take more chances in the touchy-feely area. I've been tought
> "Never touch a lady and a way she dosen't like to be touched." yet at times it's like their waiting for me
> to touch them and stuff. I guess I'm a bit afraid of the wrong reaction, ya know?

My feelings exactly

Quote
> > You're still young. (slight self-deprivation here, I'm only 19)

> You're still young too. It's not like you're 35 and shit. You're only 4 years older than me so chill.

I was being rather sarcastic, cheer up.
~unfnknblvbl
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