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https://www.smspower.org/Music/Supermodel-Homebrew

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To say that I had delusions of grandeur was understating it.
To say that I had to be splattered on the floor was overstating it.
But spill, the blood must, and spill, the blood did.

barbie.mp3 (5.7 MB)

Great track, especially the rhythm section. I have one minor complaint: The main melody has a tendency to drown in the rest of the music, which is a pity, because I find it quite catchy. Have you tried transposing it up one octave? I think you can hear in the (excellent) solo part, that everything sounds clearer if the lead voice keeps a little more distance.

Nice composition!
I agree with Kagesan, the melody is drowned in the rhythmic at the beginning, it's damaging.
I'd like to see the waves on the oscilloscope to get a better idea of the work you've done, because the space looks full.
Good job!

Thanks for the feedback you two, after giving it a long hard look I agree that the melody could stand out more. I've been able to do is make it louder but moving the lead away from the crowded low end is something which will take more work, as I feel some character might be stripped away if it's just transposed up an octave. I'll experiment and maybe post an update soon.

Glad you all like the rhythm in this too, I definitely spent a lot of time finding space to fit just a little bit more into it! I'm looking forward to the oscilloscope view just as much as you, Atmostfear.

There's something about the narrative of this that's very moving, it's a really complex track.
Unfortunately I read the others' comments before listening so wasn't able to form a completely unbiased opinion, but of course I agree about the balance of the melody in the beginning. The curious thing is that after the solo the melody seems to come through more clearly, although I think it's really just a repetition of the start of the track, so maybe it's just the perception changes after the solo.

Looking forward to hearing v2 if and when.

Hi marklincadet - I really like the drums and the main riff but at first, I thought the lead was a bit "jarring" - I'm glad I read this thread afterward so isn't just me - the track rocks but yeah probably just needs a "tune up" - sorry no pun intended - thanks

Hi folks, thanks again for your thoughts and feedback. What do you all think of this?

barbie-2c.mp3 (6.79 MB)

I think you've solved it!

I really like the use of dynamics to glue the whole thing together e.g from ~0:23 to ~0:31, it feels new although maybe it's just been given more room to breathe so now I'm noticing it.

One tiny thing: did you make the "aeroplane" noise at the beginning quieter? I didn't think it was bad at top volume, but maybe with the other changes it stood out too much.

The melody definitely stands out more now, good job. I think the solo is a little quiet in comparison now, but overall, the new mix works really well.

I've done a little more tweaking and uploaded the new VGM to the main page. As thanks, let me share with you all the SnevenTracker modules for this song. Included in the zip are both the original version of the song and the improved one, only possible thanks to all your input.

supermodules.zip (7.49 KB)

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View topic - [Music competition 2024] supermodel. by marklincadet

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