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View topic - Phantasy Star retranslation French version updates for 2023

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Post Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2023 3:48 pm
Hello and thank you for that great translation.

When the enemy has a treasure chest, the name doesn't always appear correctly in French, but it's always correct in English (see yellow letters).

In the French patch, some enemy names never cause problems when displayed in the treasure chest message, others always do.
Phantasy Star chest bug in french version.png (16.41 KB)
Phantasy Star chest bug in french version
Phantasy Star chest bug in french version.png

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Post Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2023 9:49 pm
That’s definitely a bug :) I have added to the tracker here: https://github.com/maxim-zhao/psrp/issues/106
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Post Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2023 7:17 am
Certainly caused by the article (l')
the sentence should be L'Homo squalus

If you can post some other screenshots, to be sure.

You can see every names entries here ; https://github.com/maxim-zhao/psrp/blob/master/psrp/fr/lists.asm
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Post Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2023 4:03 pm
ichigobankai wrote
Certainly caused by the article (l')

Yes, it seems so.
And I add it seems it's not caused by (l') but it is caused by (L').

No problem with Mouche géante, Scorpion, Tarentule or Gluant rouge beginning with Le/La.
But a problem with Oculum vampire, Oculum ailé, Homo squalus beginning with L'.

This also happens when you try to flee, and talk (second sentence) probably because we have a capital L (beginning of sentence).

This does not happen when you try to talk (first sentence) and with self-protection. In these cases, (l') and (ennemy name) have the correct display probably because we have a lowercase l.

See the new screenshot with colors.
Yellow = problem
Green = no problem
flee-talk-protect FR display.png (22.3 KB)
phantasy star FR translation v2.3.1
flee-talk-protect FR display.png

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Post Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2023 8:23 pm
Another thing is I would like to know if you're interested in feedback on the translation.

I have noticed that some words don't have their circumflex accent (côte, impôts, bientôt, hôpital, coût, plutôt, âme, gâchis, côté, sûr, ça, dôme).

I have also noticed some changes that could be done sometime if you like :
Prenez cette lettre pour lui >> Remettez-lui cette lettre.
Hey ! >> Hé !
Je suis désolé >> Je suis désolée (nurse)
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Post Posted: Sat Jun 24, 2023 6:58 am
There’s limited room for accented characters, there’s a decision to drop some rather than make the font uglier (see the Brazilian version) to make more room.

The details of the translation seem to vary between individuals. I’d be happy to have a long-term translation maintainer for French, but for now it’s a snapshot of what a few people did some years ago.
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Post Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2023 9:28 pm
Maxim wrote
There’s limited room for accented characters, there’s a decision to drop some rather than make the font uglier (see the Brazilian version).

I looked at the Brazilian version for the pleasure of discovering the characters retained and to my surprise, there are 5 more characters than in the French version. Using the Brazilian font, there's enough to cover all the needs of the French language (and get the correct spelling for all the words in our language if you like). See attached file for visual comparison.

Maxim wrote
The details of the translation seem to vary between individuals.

Oh yes, that's quite true for 1 of the examples. In the 3 examples I gave, 2 were spelling or grammatical errors. So I can give you some feedback if you like.

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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2023 6:37 am
There are significant changes to the font in Brazilian Portuguese to allow the accents to be present; this was deemed necessary for the language. I think readability suffers a bit. Do you think the tradeoff is worth it for French?
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2023 3:02 pm
The Brazilian Portuguese font is a fine piece of work to get these extra characters. But I understand that it may not appeal to all French users, depending on personal taste.

In French, only the 4 characters â, î, ô and û are missing. I suggest using the characters K, X, Y and ` which are not used (W and Z are not used in our language either, but are found in the game with Wyrven or Zirconian).

So the question is: why not take advantage of the unused characters to add the 4 missing ones? We'd find a use for them and it would result in something superb, what do you think of the idea ?
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2023 5:12 pm
For the French translation there is a far better thing to do ;)

With my friend Willfried, we've made the translation 11 years ago (based on the 1st english from Japanese translation), it took several months (including making manual and guide).

It's surely better to (re)translate the whole game to French from the most recent English patch with expanded box/advanced features and a more accurate translation from Japanese.
In case I need to be clear ; I will not work on this, as 11 years ago I was not at head of an advertising agency and one of my children was not even born yet ^^

But by chance Maxim's github is really well made and a special Discord channel is open for any question.
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2023 6:56 pm
Last edited by Cleeem on Tue Jul 04, 2023 6:38 pm; edited 3 times in total
ichigobankai wrote
It's surely better to (re)translate the whole game to French


I think it's possible to enhance the current translation, which is very good:
1) fix the current enemy bug
2) fix a few typos
3) add a few accents

Starting a new project would require a lot of work. But we can imagine taking advantage of the new English version to reformulate a few rare French phrases.

For example, the new translated English version says:
« We're not the only intelligent life in the Algol Solar System, you know. Motavian has Motavians and Dezoris has Dezorians. Some even speak our language ! I'd love to have a conversation with an actual alien someday... »

The French version says :
« There are intelligent beings on Motavia and Dezoris. Other planets are home to life! It's incredible, isn't it? »

We're running out of space, but instead of redoing everything, just retranslate with the main info :
« Motavians and Dezorians are other forms of intelligent life. I'd love to talk to the few who speak our language! »

In short, the current translation is really good and I'd be happy to help enhance it (typos, accents and taking into account the new English version when rarely necessary).

Edit:
To give you an idea, I've done 1/3 of the game and have 20 screenshots of suggestions (excluding accents). It's faster than a full retranslation...
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2023 9:25 pm
The retranslation script has a lot of dialogue you might have missed, with both a literal translation and the slightly embellished/extended localisation to English and many notes on where the text is used. You’re welcome to offer improvements, especially if you want to commit to finishing the job :) All the work can be done in a text editor or even online if you like. Some familiarity with Git would be an advantage though.

Space is not really an issue. There’s a lot of spare space in the game now, and the script is compressed anyway so extra words can take less space than you might expect. The only part to be careful about is how it fits into the text window pages.

You may also like to know that I fixed the L’ bug today, thanks to some others on Discord for pointing out the source of the error.
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Post Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2023 10:31 pm
Maxim wrote
I fixed the L’ bug

Good news ! ^^

Maxim wrote
You’re welcome to offer improvements

Thank you. :-) I'm ready to use the tools you prefer, as long as I understand how they work.

If I could discover the retranslated English script, have access to the current French script and figure out how I can interact from one to the other to make suggestions, I'd go for it.

I wouldn't mind a few explanations to help me.

Also, I'd like to do this with the new accented characters that are currently missing (â/î/ô/û), if possible using the characters that are not used for french (K/X/Y/`), or with another solution of your choice if possible.
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Post Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2023 6:16 am
The source code is here: https://github.com/maxim-zhao/psrp with the multilingual script here: https://github.com/maxim-zhao/psrp/blob/master/psrp/script.yaml . The Discord channel is here: https://discord.gg/ZEn8QPy and look for #psrp.

The “best” way to work is to use GitHub’s pull request workflow. This is kind of complicated if you’ve never dealt with it before. I suggest you join the Discord and we can discuss it to see what suits you.
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Post Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2023 8:38 am
I downloaded the script.yaml file and modified it with notepad to make all the changes without touching the code.


It's great: all the accented characters are written correctly, including the cedilla (ç).
There's exceptions: I'll have to be careful with the apostrophe character :
'
It's written like this :
& # 39 ;
And a curiosity about the question and exclamation marks :
?
!
It's written like this (only in French, perhaps because in French we're used to putting a space between the end of the sentence and these signs... ?) :
_?
_!


So, for example,
<td id="LC464" class="blob-code blob-code-inner js-file-line"><span class="pl-s"> On peut encore y ressentir la présence de Néro.&lt;wait&gt;</span></td>

is now :
<td id="LC464" class="blob-code blob-code-inner js-file-line"><span class="pl-s"> Les affaires de Néro sont encore à leur place.&lt;wait&gt;</span></td>


So I'm modifying the script.yaml on my computer and everything should be perfect ? Is it OK for you ?

Of course, working locally presupposes that the file will not be updated by anyone else for some time...


Edit :
However, I can't add a line because of the ID :
<td id="L464"
<td id="L465"
<td id="L466"

So I won't be able to change something with more text.
For example, this :
Combien de temps allons-nous rester sous cette loi martiale_?

By this :
Je ne peux plus sortir de chez moi sans que la police privée de Lashiec ne surveille mes moindres faits et gestes. Camineet avait l'habitude d'être si agréable. Comment en est-on arrivé là ?
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Post Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2023 9:53 am
Hm, I think you may be editing the file converted in HTML form somehow. The character code &#39 you're mentioning is not usually seen in a yaml file. Have you downloaded the file itself, or the page that contains it ?

You can make sure you get a copy of the yaml file as pure text by clicking the "..." on the top right of the web editor and then choose "view raw". You can them save that file on your computer.

As for the "_!" code, I believe it gets interpreted as "spacing character that is not a space in french". It is mentioned as a special case in the comments at the start of the file. Not exactly sure about the implication of that syntax with my limited knowledge...
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Post Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2023 10:05 am
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So I'm modifying the script.yaml on my computer and everything should be perfect ? Is it OK for you ?

Of course, working locally presupposes that the file will not be updated by anyone else for some time...


Ideally, to prevent conflicts on large set of changes, or even accidental formatting changes, you really would prefer to use github to download the project, edit the main script file, and send all changes back as a new branch (the exact terminology used by github might be different).

As Maxim suggested, feel free to join the SMSPower Discord server. This could be more helpful for immediate help !
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Post Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2023 3:21 pm
“_” is interpreted as “non-breaking space” to ensure that ! and ? are separated from their words but not wrapped to the following line, as is apparently the way in French.

Please do as armixer24 said and download the “raw” yaml file. You will find no HTML and the file will be much smaller. It is however important to keep the scripting tags like <wait>, as well as the indentation which allows the file to be processed by the build process. I can manually merge your changes once you are done and send me the file.

Indeed the script can contain any text - we remap it to the game’s limited font at a later stage. This requires some tricky editing of multiple files to be in sync so I will work on that later. “Stealing” uppercase letters looks kind of bad on the save name entry screen, but may be worth it for the overall script.

I also have a longer-term plan to allow more dynamic font loading to allow more letters to potentially be used at once, but let’s not wait for that, it may be another 10 years :)
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Post Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2023 11:33 pm
armixer24 wrote
choose "view raw"

Maxim wrote
You will find no HTML and the file will be much smaller.

Thank you for the Tip, it was very helpful !

armixer24 wrote
As for the "_!" code, I believe it gets interpreted as "spacing character that is not a space in french".

Maxim wrote
“_” is interpreted as “non-breaking space”

Thank you again :-)

Maxim wrote
I can manually merge your changes once you are done and send me the file.

Oh yes, it would be great for me ! ^^

Maxim wrote
“Stealing” uppercase letters looks kind of bad on the save name entry screen, but may be worth it for the overall script.

Yes, I had the same thought...

Maxim wrote
I also have a longer-term plan to allow more dynamic font loading to allow more letters to potentially be used at once, but let’s not wait for that, it may be another 10 years :)

Impressive ! I did not know it was ever possible !

So I will give you news later. I'm going to take my time with the translation to make something good for now.
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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 9:13 am
For what it's worth, the current French version reports this on build:

Symbol $15 is unused ("K")
Symbol $21 is unused ("W")
Symbol $22 is unused ("X")
Symbol $23 is unused ("Y")
Symbol $24 is unused ("Z")
Symbol $3B is unused ("w")
Symbol $41 is unused ("‘")

"‘" is effectively free as it's a flip of ",", but the other 6 are apparently free to use. This refers only to the script. We also have text in menus and in the source code; "Y" is used for "YM2413", "W" for "AW2284", "K" for "Kraken". So that only leaves "X", "Z" and lowercase "w" as truly unused.

Elsewhere we have these letters mapped to unaccented versions:

Â É Ê Œ â î ï ô œ û

I think it's more forgivable to drop the ligatures (œ) as they will look awful at 7px wide, and capitals as they look awful squashed to 7px tall; but that leaves 5 lowercase accented letters to fit in three spare slots.

Another option is to remove use of these letters by careful rewording of the script. It's possible to enumerate where they're used.
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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 1:13 pm
Maxim wrote
I think it's more forgivable to drop the ligatures (œ) and capitals Â É Ê Œ œ

Yes for sure !

Maxim wrote
"X", "Z" and lowercase "w" as truly unused.

The word Zombie (enemy) is probably used, so "Z" may not truly be unused (?).
Can we use "`" if it is not taken ?

Maxim wrote
that leaves 5 lowercase accented letters to fit in three spare slots â î ï ô û

ô and û have priority, we cannot do without them so easily.

Maxim wrote
Another option is to remove use of these letters by careful rewording of the script. It's possible to enumerate where they're used.

Very good idea !
You can do a search for â, î and ï ...

Thank you very much for all the help !
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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 2:33 pm
Last edited by Cleeem on Wed Jun 28, 2023 4:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
Maxim wrote
Space is not really an issue. There’s a lot of spare space in the game now, and the script is compressed anyway

I quote this old post to know if I can do something like that bellow ...


BEFORE
Combien de temps allons-nous rester sous cette loi martiale_?<wait>

NOW
Impossible de sortir de chez soi sans que la police privée de Lashiec ne surveille nos moindres faits et gestes.<wait more>
Camineet était si agréable. Comment en est-on arrivé là ?<wait>


Check in the real game to be sure I am writing <wait more> at the best time and place :

12345678901234567890123456789
Impossible de sortir de chez
soi sans que la police privée
de Lashiec ne surveille nos
moindres faits et gestes.

12345678901234567890123456789
Camineet était si agréable.
Comment en est-on arrivé là ?
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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 4:42 pm
The game engine should insert waits after every four lines, but you may prefer to split things differently. That kind of script extension should be fine, within limits :)

The Zombie is “Mort Vivante”. Check fr/lists.asm in the repository.

The issue with fonts is that we have 70 8x8 tiles for all text, including letters, numbers, punctuation and spaces. However it is “free” to flip any of these horizontally and vertically. So, for example, “,” can be flipped to “‘” and “’” if we draw it carefully. “O” and “0” can share a tile. But other cases are more difficult to achieve because we have to harm the font shape to allow other flipping optimisations to work.

For French we therefore have:

0-9 = 10
A to Z = 25 (using O = 0)
a to z = 23 (using b|d and p|q flipping and l = 1)
Space, -!?’. = 6
àêéèùç = 6
Total = 70

You can look at the font-*.png files to see the tile data.
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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 5:08 pm
Maxim wrote
The Zombie is “Mort Vivante”

Great ! ^^

Maxim wrote
it is “free” to flip any of these horizontally and vertically

Thank you for this detailed explanation. You have the virtues of a great teacher.


I look at the translation and write all the changes in a little notepad.
We'll see how to export the whole thing later.
This will give me time to put the finishing touches to everything.
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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 7:09 pm
In the existing script:

- â appears 7 times
- î appears 8 times
- ï appears once ("haïssons")
- ô appears 9 times
- û appears 11 times

So it's possible ï could be avoided entirely, I guess there's plenty of synonyms available. However it may be better to work on the script without restraint, and then see what the stats are like when you're done.

Please also explore the other files in the "fr" directory in case you feel the need to change any of those.

"YM2413" is used in the options menu. It could become "MF" (modulation de fréquence) to free up a letter slot.

"AW2284" is also only used in the options menu. It's a name I invented for the "plain" font used in the retranslation; it's based on the text font from Phantasy Star IV and the number font from Phantasy Star III, with some edits. If you can express that in some other way - maybe "Plaine", or "PSIV" - then we gain another slot.

The "Kraken" is called "The Big Eater" in English; it is ビッグイーター in Japanese (phonetic for Big Eater) and TENTACLE in the original English translation. (See more notes at https://github.com/maxim-zhao/psrp/blob/master/translation-notes.md ). So there's definitely scope to rename that and gain another letter. "Gros mangeur"? Maybe it's worth also reconsidering all the enemy names in light of the linked document.
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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 8:46 pm
Maxim wrote
it may be better to work on the script without restraint, and then see what the stats are like when you're done.

Yes

Maxim wrote
"Gros mangeur"?

Yes again !

Maxim wrote
Maybe it's worth also reconsidering all the enemy names in light of the linked document.

Yes, after finishing the main script. :-)


Thank you again for all your explanations, very useful.
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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 9:24 pm
I have one more question about a detail.

In the script, you can read :
Néro m'avait demandé de garder ce vase en Laconia.

source: https://raw.githubusercontent.com/maxim-zhao/psrp/master/psrp/script.yaml

But in the game itself with the last patch version 2.3.1, we have :
Néro m'avait demandé de garder ce vase Laconian.


It's almost the same words, but not exactly. Perhaps the script has been updated since the last patch?
Phantasy Star_FR_vase-Laconian.png (9.86 KB)
FR version 2.3.1
Phantasy Star_FR_vase-Laconian.png

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Post Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2023 10:46 pm
Yes - I recently made some edits to make it clear that Laconia is a material, not a place.
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Post Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:10 am
I'm quite happy to contribute more to the translation now that deeper changes are allowed. Here's my two cents for the menu changes:

- For the sound chip choice, I think it's reasonable to just go for "FM" and "PSG" if we need to free up "Y". I know it's using the english acronyms, but for those who know what those are, they are likely referring to those acronyms anyway...

- For the font choice, if you wanted to translate the word "Plain", I feel you could go for "Simple" or "Basique" for the AW2284 font and leave the name as "Polaris" for the serif font.
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Post Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 9:59 am
Last edited by Cleeem on Tue Jul 04, 2023 6:37 pm; edited 2 times in total
armixer24 wrote
if we need to free up "Y"

Everything shall be good :-)

  • we will be able to do without ï
  • we have K, X, Z and w for ô, û, â and î


I could be wrong too, but I think that for Master System fans, naming components correctly is important.

I had thought of suggesting :

  • aw2284 and ym2413 for...
  • AW2284 and YM2413

but I censored myself !

There is so much love for this system that I thought perfect naming in capital letters might be an important thing for some people here. :-)

In French, the most important thing is to cover ô and û for readability. However, thanks to Maxim's discoveries, we've got the K back !

All should be well with accented characters. :-)
Thank you for trying to free the Y !
It's true that in French its use is very rare! ^^

Edit :
We will see later if we can change words with ¨ :

  • ï (maïs for example)
  • ë (aiguë for example)
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Post Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 1:45 pm
Last edited by Cleeem on Wed Aug 09, 2023 3:31 pm; edited 97 times in total
script.yaml — retranslation part 1

I'm posting my progress to see if all is well and everything will be accessible as presented.

(I think that a series of copy-pastes with search (Ctrl+C/V/F) should make it possible to insert all this in the required document when the time comes).

As you can see, there are more than expected in the volume of retranslated sentences, as the new English version provides more surprises than expected.


 _________________________
|                         |
| Scénette d'introduction |
|_________________________|


---OLD
Écoute moi attentivement, il me reste peu de temps.<wait more>
---NEW
Ecoute-moi attentivement, il me reste peu de temps.<wait more>

---OLD
Mon erreur fut de l'affronter seul.<line><line>
---NEW
Mon erreur fut de l'affronter seul.<wait more>
J'ai essayé de découvrir ce que LaShiec manigançait, mais je n'ai rien pu faire.<wait more>

---OLD
Alisa, retrouve-le et tue Lassic avant qu'il ne soit trop tard_!<wait more>
---NEW
Alisa, retrouve-le et mets fin aux ambitions de LaShiec avant qu'il ne soit trop tard !<wait more>
Si tu unis tes forces aux siennes, vous pourrez peut-être sauver le système solaire d'Algol à vous deux.<wait more>

tribute to the game manual

Nero's detailed request to find Tylon.

---OLD
Je suis partie pour anéantir l'homme le plus puissant du monde.<wait>
---NEW
Avec ton esprit à mes côtés, LaShiec n'a aucune chance.<wait>

 ______________________
|                      |
| District de Camineet |
|______________________|


---OLD
La maison d'Alisa.<line>
On peut encore y ressentir la présence de Néro.<wait>
---NEW
La maison d'Alisa est vide.<line>
Toutes les affaires de Néro sont encore là.<wait more>
Les parents adoptifs d'Alisa sont morts alors qu'elle avait 10 ans.<wait more>
Frère et soeur de coeur ont survécu en comptant l'un sur l'autre.<wait more>
Alisa a 15 ans et Néro avait 18 ans. Il travaillait comme bagagiste au spatioport de Paséo sur la planète Motavia.<wait>


story depth
tribute to the game manual
tribute to Phantasy Star Compendium book

We learn more about Alisa's past.

---OLD
Que veux-tu faire?<wait more>
Alisa, tu es folle de vouloir tenir tête à Lassic_!<wait more>
Mais je sais comme tu es bornée, je t'aiderai donc comme je pourrai.<wait more>
Si tu es blessée, viens ici et ton amie Suelo t'arrangera ca.<wait>
---NEW
Alisa... S'attaquer à LaShiec est de la folie. Mais je sais à quel point tu peux être têtue et déterminée.<wait more>
Je n'essaierai pas de t'en dissuader, simplement... s'il te plaît, sois prudente.<wait more>
Si jamais tu es blessée, reviens ici pour te soigner.<wait more>
Nous sommes voisines depuis longtemps, tu sais que la maison de Suelo sera toujours ouverte pour toi.<wait>

---OLD
Repose-toi un peu, si tu veux.
---NEW
Repose-toi un peu si tu veux. N'en fais pas trop, d'accord ?<wait>

---OLD
Je suis Nékisée, mes sincères condoléances pour ton frère.<wait more>
Nous avons entendu dire que Tylon se trouvait à Scion.<wait more>
Néro m'avait demandé de garder ce vase en Laconia.<wait more>
Il aurait voulu que tu l'aies. Tiens, prends-le.<wait>
---NEW
Je m'appelle Nékisé. Néro m'a demandé de l'aider à trouver un guerrier nommé Tylon, le cherches-tu aussi ?<wait more>
Aux dernières nouvelles, il séjournait à l'est dans la ville de Scion.<wait more>
Peut-être est-il toujours dans les parages ?<wait more>
Au fait, ton frère m'avait confié ce Vase en Laconia.<wait more>
C'est un objet de grande valeur. Tiens, prends-le. Peut-être t'aidera-t-il au cours de ton voyage ?<wait>

---OLD
Je suis désolé, mais je ne peux pas t'aider plus. Bonne chance.<wait>
---NEW
Ce Vase en Laconia est tout ce que ton frère m'a confié.<wait more>
Je suis désolé de ne pas pouvoir t'aider davantage. Bonne chance.<wait>

tip

When I played the game the first time and came back to see this person, I couldn't remember what he was talking about. I added this sentence to remind the player what has been done.

---OLD
Combien de temps allons-nous rester sous cette loi martiale_?<wait>
---NEW
Impossible de sortir de chez soi sans que la police privée de Lashiec ne surveille nos moindres faits et gestes.<wait more>
Camineet était si agréable. Comment en est-on arrivé là ?<wait>

---OLD
Tu auras besoin de la Clé du Donjon si tu veux ouvrir les portes.<wait>
---NEW
Certains donjons ont des portes verrouillées. Tu auras besoin de la Clé du Donjon pour les ouvrir.<wait>

---OLD
Certains donjons sont totalement obscurs, tu auras besoin de lumière.<wait>
---NEW
Certains donjons sont plongés dans le noir, assure-toi d'avoir une source de lumière avec toi.<wait more>
La Lampe Torche éclaire mais se consume. Une seule utilisation par donjon.<wait more>
Si tu es fortunée, achète le Pendentif Lumineux à Parolit, c'est une source lumineuse infinie.<wait>


tip

Item information.

---OLD
Je ne peux pas le croire_!<wait more>
Il faut un permis pour entrer sur le Spatioport_!<wait more>
Comment vais-je rentrer chez moi_?<wait>
---NEW
On ne peut même plus entrer dans le spatioport sans un Laissez-passer.<wait more>
J'ai essayé d'en faire la demande, mais on m'a dit que cela pouvait prendre des semaines.<wait more>
Comment suis-je censé rentrer chez moi ?<wait>

---OLD
J'ai entendu dire qu'il y avait du marché noir dans les ports...
---NEW
On peut acheter à peu près n'importe quoi dans une ville portuaire comme Scion située à l'est d'ici.<wait more>
J'ai même obtenu un Laissez-passer une fois !<wait>

---OLD
Les citoyens sont priés de rester dans la zone résidentielle.<wait>
---NEW
Veuillez rester à l'intérieur du district. Les citoyens sont en sécurité ici.<wait>

---OLD
Si vous ne voulez pas mourir, ne passez pas.<wait>
---NEW
Si vous ne voulez pas mourir, restez ici.<wait>

---OLD
Désolé, nous sommes en état d'alerte. Accès interdit.<wait>
---NEW
Un Laissez-passer est nécessaire pour accéder à cette zone.<wait>

---OLD
Un permis signé est nécessaire pour accéder au Spatioport.<wait>
---NEW
Personne ne peut entrer ici sans un Laissez-passer.<wait>

---OLD
Connaissez-vous les planètes d'Algol_?<end>
---NEW
Connaissez-vous l'histoire d'Algol, notre système solaire ?<end>

---OLD
Il y a trois planètes - Palma, Motavia, et Dézoris.<wait more>
Ces trois planètes sont totalement différentes.<wait more>
Palma est une planète verdoyante.<wait more>
Motavia est un désert de sable.<wait more>
Quant à Dézoris, elle est couverte de glace.<wait more>
Pour vous dire la vérité, je crains pour l'avenir de nos planètes.<wait>
---NEW
Le système solaire d'Algol est composé de trois planètes.<line>
Palma, Motavia et Dézoris.<wait more>
Palma, notre planète, a une végétation abondante.<wait more>
Sa civilisation, qui remonte à des temps anciens, s'étend aujourd'hui aux colonies des planètes Motavia et Dézoris.<wait more>
Motavia est la plus proche du soleil, sa surface est sèche et désertique. Elle est en développement.<wait more>
Des vaisseaux circulent chaque jour entre Palma et Motavia dont le spatioport a été ouvert récemment.<wait more>
Dézoris est la planète la plus éloignée du soleil. Sa surface est gelée et très peu de vie y prospère.<wait more>
Son développement a donc été retardé mais la construction d'un spatioport reste prévue dans quelques années.<wait more>
Malheureusement, depuis le début du printemps, le système solaire d'Algol est menacé.<wait more>

Chaque jour les ambitions de LaShiec nous rapprochent d'une crise irréversible.<wait>

story depth
tribute to the game manual

We learn details about the Agol solar system not mentioned in the game.

https://www.pscave.com/other/compendium/page61-65.shtml
game's manual 7.png (35.48 KB)
Alisa's past
game's manual 7.png
game's manual 8.png (10.71 KB)
Nero's request
game's manual 8.png
game's manual 24.png (42.12 KB)
Planets
game's manual 24.png
game's manual 6.png (84.27 KB)
Voyage
game's manual 6.png
Phantasy Star Compendium Chronological Table.png (72.7 KB)
Sega-produced document
Phantasy Star Compendium Chronological Table.png

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Post Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 5:50 pm
Remember that the “literal” version is very close to the Japanese text, whereas the “en” part has some extra stuff added in the name of localisation vs translation - the goal being to make it more lively and entertaining. The Japanese text was kind of constrained to try to fit in the space, so much of it is quite terse. But don’t feel like you have to stick to the “en” script too literally.

If you edit the files and later send them to me (or just attach here) then I can easily merge your changes using various programmer-centric tools, much more easily than search/paste :)
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Post Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2023 12:57 am
Last edited by Cleeem on Wed Jul 26, 2023 9:32 am; edited 8 times in total
Thanks for the tip! I'll keep it in mind! However, I've seen that many translations in other languages use the new English version. I'll do my best. :-)

Edit:

The new English version is great for its more narrative side, to captivate and tell a story. Sentences starting with : « did you know that... » or « I can't believe it!» really set the mood.


I've made improvements based on your advice.

1)
I've taken an interest in vintage interviews with the developers, for example on this page which is very rich to better convey how they saw the story :
http://shmuplations.com/phantasystar/
https://www.sega.jp/fb/album/07_ps/interview1.html
http://www.space-harrier.com/ps/samp.pdf
https://www.sega.jp/fb/segahard/joyjoy/joy15.html

2)
I'll do my best to provide the player with clear guidance. For example, at the beginning, you need a pass. There are several different words used depending on who you're talking to, not to mention the naming in the store and in the items. I've used the same word everywhere.

3)
Sometimes, I'll go into less detail and subtlety when I'm not sure it's something the developers intended. This applies to a very small number of elements, as the new English translation suggests simple little details throughout.


I'll share my translation progress, but if possible, I'd prefer you to leave the script as it is for now.
It'll be easier for me if I need to come back to it...

Edit again:

I forgot to mention it but for sure, I'll take the literal translation into account.
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Post Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2023 9:05 pm
Last edited by Cleeem on Wed Aug 09, 2023 3:47 pm; edited 49 times in total
script.yaml — retranslation part 2

 _____________________
|                     |
| District de Parolit |
|_____________________|


---OLD
Bienvenue à la zone résidentielle de Parolit.<wait>
---NEW
Bienvenue dans le district résidentiel de Parolit.<wait>

---OLD
Il est facile de se perdre dans la forêt, sois prudente.<wait>
---NEW
Avant l'arrivée du printemps, LaShiec était un roi juste et bon. Que lui est-il arrivé ?<wait>

story depth
tribute to the game manual

The information of the forest is already given in the town of Scion, where it is advisable to use a compass.
Instead, I've included information on LaShiec, which is only available in the game manual.
Outside the manual, it's interesting to note that the expression "King LaShiec" is used only once after defeating his shadow.


---OLD
Le monstre appelé Médusa a été réveillé dans la grotte au sud.<wait more>
La légende raconte qu'elle pétrifie ceux qui croisent son regard_!<wait>
---NEW
J'ai entendu dire que le monstre nommé Médusa habite la grotte juste au sud d'ici.<wait more>
On dit que quiconque croise son regard serait transformé en statue vivante.<wait more>
Cela ne peut être vrai, n'est-ce pas ?<wait>

---OLD
Le Spatioport permet d'aller à Paséo sur Motavia.<wait more>
Mais il te faudra un permis pour y accéder.<wait>
---NEW
Notre spatioport assure une liaison directe vers Paséo, capitale de la planète Motavia.<wait more>
J'aimerais y aller un jour. Je n'ai jamais quitté notre planète !<wait>

---OLD
Un ancien passage mène à l'ouest, vers Gothic_!<wait more>
Il est censé être par ici, mais je n'arrive pas à le trouver.<wait>
---NEW
La péninsule ouest est un lieu effrayant. C'est là que se trouve le village de Gothic.<wait more>
Savais-tu qu'il existe un passage souterrain pour y accéder ?<wait more>
Il est censé se trouver quelque part dans les environs, mais je ne l'ai jamais découvert.<wait>

 __________________________
|                          |
| Ville portuaire de Scion |
|__________________________|


---OLD
Il y a des êtres intelligents sur Motavia et Dézoris.<wait more>
D'autres planètes abritent la vie_! C'est incroyable, n'est-ce pas_?<wait>
---NEW
Nous ne sommes pas la seule forme de vie intelligente dans le système solaire d'Algol, vous savez.<wait more>
Motavia a des motaviens et Dézoris a des dézoriens. Certains parlent même notre langue !<wait more>
J'aimerais beaucoup pouvoir discuter avec l'un deux un jour... <wait>

---OLD
Oui, Tylon est passé ici.<wait more>
Il disait aller vers le sud-ouest pour tuer Médusa.<wait more>
Un animal parlant avec une fiole autour du cou l'accompagnait_!<wait more>
Je me demande ce que c'était_?<wait>
---NEW
Oui, Tylon était là. Il a dit qu'il se dirigeait vers le sud-ouest pour affronter Médusa.<wait more>
Je ne l'ai pas revu depuis. Mais il n'était pas seul, il voyageait avec un animal parlant !<wait more>
Je n'arrivais pas à y croire ! Il avait un flacon avec un remède important autour du cou.<wait more>
Je me demande à quoi cela pouvait servir.<wait>

---OLD
Il est temps que quelqu'un s'en prenne à Lassic.<wait>
---NEW
Il est temps que quelqu'un s'attaque à LaShiec. Bonne chance !.<wait more>
Voici quelques conseils.<wait more>
La magie Retour Eglise d'Alisa et l'objet Tapis du Croyant te téléporteront à la dernière église visitée.<wait more>
Tu peux aussi utiliser une Vitabarre pour récupérer 10 points de vie ou un Aquavital pour en récupérer 40.<wait>


tip

Items information

---OLD
Je l'ai vendu à un commerçant de Paséo. Le p'tit bout valait une vraie fortune_!
---NEW
Je l'ai vendu sur la planète Motavia à un commerçant de Paséo. Le p'tit bout valait une vraie fortune !

---OLD
L'économie est en chute libre depuis l'arrivée de Lassic.<wait more>
Je suis tellement déprimé que je ne sais quoi faire.<wait>
---NEW
Les temps sont durs dernièrement, tu ne trouves pas ?<wait more>
Vendre une créature parlante était une véritable aubaine.<wait more>
Je me demande s'il y a un autre moyen de se faire de l'argent facilement.<wait>


literal translation

We learn more about the person who sold Myau.

---OLD
La grotte Iala est située sur la péninsule au sud-est de la ville.<wait>
---NEW
Sur la péninsule au sud de Sion se trouve une grotte nommée Iala.<wait more>
On dit qu'elle dissimulerait un équipement intéressant pour une créature de petite taille.<wait>

tip

Equipment location.

---OLD
Bienvenue à Scion.<wait more>
Notre économie était prospère, jusqu'à l'embargo de Lassic.<wait more>
Aujourd'hui, la plupart d'entre-nous est au chômage.<wait>
---NEW
Bienvenue à Scion, un port très actif sur le plan commercial... ou du moins, il l'était.<wait more>
Avec le monde tel qu'il est ces derniers temps, il n'y a plus autant d'activité.<wait>

---OLD
Aller dans la forêt d'Eppi sans boussole_? Vous devez être un peu stupide_!<wait>
---NEW
Les bois d'Eppi au sud d'ici sont trop déroutants, il faut une boussole pour les traverser.<wait>

---OLD
La seul moyen de débloquer une porte scellée, est d'y jeter un de vos propres sorts.<wait>
---NEW
Le seul moyen d'ouvrir une porte scellée par la magie est de lancer soi-même un sort magique.<wait>

---OLD
Au nord, se trouve la colline appelée Baya Malay.<wait more>
---NEW
Au nord au-delà de la prison, on peut apercevoir une magnifique colline appelée Baya Malay.<wait more>
Dommage qu'il soit impossible de la voir de plus prêt...<wait>

---OLD
J'avais l'habitude de faire de la spéléologie dans la grotte Naula, sur la cote nord de Baya Malay.<wait more>
Mais avec tous ces monstres errants, je ne me risquerai pas d'y retourner!<wait>
---NEW
A l'extrême nord-est d'ici se trouve la grotte de Naula.<wait more>
On dit que quelqu'un y a installé un commerce unique en son genre mais il est difficile d'accès.<wait>

tip

Store location.

---OLD
Je ne sais pas de quoi vous parlez. Je tiens un honnête commerce ici, moi_!<wait>
---NEW
Je ne sais pas pour qui vous vous prenez, mais nous ne vendons pas ce genre de choses ici. Oubliez ça.<wait>

---OLD
Je l'ai déjà dit, je ne fais pas de contrebande_!<wait more>
Sortez de mon magasin_!<wait>
---NEW
Abandonnez, voulez-vous ? Je vous l'ai déjà dit, nous sommes un simple magasin. Sortez !<wait>

---OLD
Vous n'allez pas abandonner, n'est-ce pas_?<wait more>
Ici, il suffit d'un permis, signé et certifié. Concernant les coursiers morts, niez tout.<wait>
---NEW
Vous n'allez pas abandonner, n'est-ce pas ? Très bien, prenez-le.<wait more>
Un Laissez-passer, signé et certifié. Mais ce n'est pas moi qui vous l'ai donné, compris ?<wait>
game's manual 6.png (84.27 KB)
King LaShiec
game's manual 6.png

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Post Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2023 12:22 am
Last edited by Cleeem on Tue Jul 04, 2023 6:35 pm; edited 2 times in total
Maxim wrote
Yes - I recently made some edits to make it clear that Laconia is a material, not a place.


Ah, yes !
« made of Laconia » appears 5 times here :
https://dianarebollar.com/ps/PDF/Phantasy%20Star%20Alisas%20Adventure.pdf

I've just discovered the book.
Perhaps the new English version we're retranslating into French was inspired by it...
Does anyone know?

Phantasy Star: Alisa's Adventure, published in 1989 by Futabasha Publishing is a choose-your-own-adventure book based on Phantasy Star.

As the book is very close to the game's story, it's certainly a good source of inspiration for adding depth to the game's dialogues.

Edit :

Just for fun, after reading the book of Alisa's Adventure, I am trying to retranslate the english retranslation of the game one more time. It could be :
« This is Alisa's house. Nero's belongings are still where he left them. Alisa started putting them away into storage. »

(current English retranslation of the game)
« This is Alisa’s home.Nero's things are still where he left them. »

(book of Alisa's adventures)
« Alisa Landale was putting her brother Nero’s personal effects away into storage. »

I think I'm writing this to say that the game's story has exceptional depth.
I'm tempted to read the book to take this into account in the French translation, but it's probably too much work...
What has been done in the new English version is fantastic and I'm just curious about the details of the book.
Phantasy Star #01 - Alisa's Adventure_0000.jpg (190.35 KB)
Futabasha Publishing
Phantasy Star #01 - Alisa's Adventure_0000.jpg

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Post Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2023 7:35 am
The story book is actually abridging the first dungeon treasure chest discovery with the mention of storage. Adding it into the house would not make sense in that respect. Also, the text shows every time you go there, so it needs to make sense at the end of the game as well as the start.

The book is itself a fan translation from a Japanese book, not written by the game’s authors, so it’s not a primary source.
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Post Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2023 7:57 pm
I love this book. :-)

First of all, it's really funny and proves that you can't trust it too much for the authenticity of the story. ^^

For example, on the day the team visits the Governor-General of the planet Motavia, the team has a bad dream.

In the game, the nightmare is the same for everyone and we can see the whole team fighting on screen.

In the book, it's different for Tylon and Myau.
Alisa : "Yeah, I had an awful nightmare. I dreamed that we were all being attacked by a terrible monster. We all got killed."
Tylon : "I had a dream that I was being attacked by a hoard of cuties!
And Myau was dreaming that he had a never-ending bowl of cat food."

That alone makes me want to read it! :-)
I should whisper in Tylon's ear that Myau is not a cat, but oh well...


This is really good, because it immediately frames what's real at the time of the game and what players would like to find in it today, which is not the same thing and depending on individual tastes.

I found it very useful, so that we could ask ourselves the right questions about the content of a faithful retranslation.



So, to take the example of the dialogue in Alisia's house, I asked myself what would be the most faithful to the original game.

Alisa has lost her parents and is very young. In the clichés of Japanese literature from this period, children often live alone. Nero and Alisa live in their departed parents' house.


literal
This is Alisa's house. There is nobody here.

english retranslation
This is Alisa’s home. Nero's things are still where he left them.

Alisa's Adventure book
Alisa Landale was putting her brother Nero’s personal effects away into storage.

Sega Ages 2500 Series Vol. 1 Phantasy Star Generation1 on PS2
Home is not the same. Without you, it's cold... empty...


Well, I think the best translation to understand the story is the last one, the one found on the Playstation 2 because it explains the weight and meaning of the «nobody» word given in the literal version.

On the other hand, it may not be the best translation for capturing the special atmosphere of the original version on the Master System.

But at least PS2 is interesting for understanding certain subtleties in the game sometimes.



I will take a second and last example with Eppi village.

You need a compass to get there not to get lost in a tiny forest area around this village, whereas it's impossible to get lost wandering through vast stretches of forest throughout the game.

Why is this?
Each version has its own explanation.


literal
You ought to be especially cautious in forests.

english retranslation
The forest is especially dangerous lately, be careful if you head that way.

Alisa's Adventure book
Alisa tread deep into the thick forest. Even though it was still daytime, it was dark and shady in these woods. It was amazing that such dense forest could still exist in this day and age on the planet Palma.

Sega Ages 2500 Series Vol. 1 Phantasy Star Generation1 on PS2
I have heard that there's a hidden village southeast of here.

Once again, my favorite explanation is the one for the PS2 version.

In the original game, we're told to be careful in the forest, but it's much more dangerous in the seaside area and nothing is said about the particular area of the forest. The forest is mentioned in general.
In the book, I like the idea. This little piece of forest had to be described differently from the rest of the forest to make sense.
In the PS2 version, the village is hidden, so it's simple and logical.


But perhaps the PS2 version doesn't reflect what the team wanted to express at the time. When in doubt, remaining vague might be the best thing to do, rather than giving the wrong reasons.

literal
Welcome to Eppi Village!

en
Welcome to Eppi Village! We don’t get many visitors lately, now that the forest is crawling with monsters.

In the example, I can't imagine the villagers complaining about a drop in visits when Eppi village seems enchanted and protected, especially when they give the increase in the number of monsters as the reason especially in THEIR forest and not in other cities.

In any case, the work done on the new English version is really helpfull to make the translation in French. But if I do the translation, I'll look at all the sources and versions to do my best.

It'll take longer, but it'll be better that way.
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Post Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2023 11:48 pm
I revised all the dialogues and simply changed a few things.
SMS Power's new English translation is a great help.
The PS2 version is very good to check a few details.
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Post Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2023 5:11 pm
Last edited by Cleeem on Wed Aug 09, 2023 3:56 pm; edited 16 times in total
script.yaml — retranslation part 3

 _____________________
|                     |
| Spatioport de Palma |
|_____________________|


---OLD
Bienvenue au Spatioport de Palma. D'ici, vous pouvez vous rendre à Paséo sur Motavia.<wait>
---NEW
Bienvenue au spatioport de Palma. Tous les vaisseaux voyagent vers Paséo, capitale de la planète Motavia.<wait>

---OLD
Ces vaisseaux se dirigent vers la capitale de Motavia, Paséo. Le Gouverneur y habite.<wait>
---NEW
Le gouverneur général dirige l'ensemble de la planète Motavia depuis son bureau à Paséo.<wait>

---OLD
Avant les lignes commerciales, ces vaisseaux ont été inventés dans un laboratoire de Gothic.<wait>
---NEW
Autrefois, des vaisseaux comme celui-ci étaient construits dans les laboratoires de Gothic.<wait more>
Y êtes-vous déjà allée ?<wait>

---OLD
Eh bien_? Voyons ca.<wait>
---NEW
Arrêtez de faire l'imbécile.<wait>

---OLD
Les frais de dossier sont de <number> Meseta. Pouvez-vous payer?<end>
---NEW
Les frais de dossier sont de <number> mesetas. Etes-vous prête à payer_?<end>

---OLD
Le voici.<wait more>
Au suivant_!<wait>
---NEW
Le voici.<wait more>
Veillez à le garder toujours sur vous.<wait>

---OLD
Parfait. Au suivant, s'il vous plait.<wait>
---NEW
Je vois. Portez-vous bien.<wait>

---OLD
Désolé, vous n'êtes pas habilitée. Suivant_!<wait>
---NEW
Désolée, vous n'êtes pas habilitée. Au suivant !<wait>

 _____________________
|                     |
| Spatioport de Paséo |
|_____________________|


---OLD
C'est la saison de reproduction des fourmilions, soyez prudente.<wait>
---NEW
C'est la saison de reproduction des fourmilions, soyez prudente durant votre séjour.<wait>


---OLD
Vous êtes à Paséo, le seul Spatioport de Motavia.<wait>
---NEW
Vous êtes à Paséo, capitale disposant de l'unique spatioport de la planète Motavia.<wait>

---OLD
Il existerait une Patisserie située dans la grotte Naula, sur Palma.<wait more>
Je me demande s'il y a beaucoup de clients... dans une grotte_?<wait>
---NEW
Il existerait une pâtisserie au fond de la grotte Naula à l'extrême nord de la planète Palma.<wait more>
Je me demande s'il y a beaucoup de clients dans une grotte comme ça...<wait>

---OLD
Cette navette se dirige vers Palma. Embarquer_?<end>
---NEW
Ce vaisseau spatial se dirige vers la planète Palma. Embarquer ?<end>
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Post Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2023 5:13 pm
Last edited by Cleeem on Mon Jul 03, 2023 5:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
Maxim wrote
Remember that the “literal” version is very close to the Japanese text, whereas the “en” part has some extra stuff added in the name of localisation vs translation - the goal being to make it more lively and entertaining. The Japanese text was kind of constrained to try to fit in the space, so much of it is quite terse. But don’t feel like you have to stick to the “en” script too literally.


I'd like to thank you for the freedom you've given me, which has encouraged me to be creative at times.

I'll share here the few changes or additions I've tried to make for the French version, thanks to the trust you've placed in me, knowing that my aim is to be as close as possible to the atmosphere and narrative elements of the Master System era.

I fully share the feeling that, at the time, our friends must have been technically hampered by the lack of space for the story, which made it less lively, and the retranslated English version is a magnificent creative source in this regard.

There's something else too: beyond the livelier aspect of the story, there's the logic and relationship between events. The book and PS2 versions helped me to ask myself the right questions, to discover the need to deepen certain points or to be more vague in certain cases.

To be sure that the changes I've made in French will be easy for you to read, and for the pleasure of sharing, I'll write them in yellow, with a comment to explain why I tried to be creative if needed.

My old posts have been edited in this way.
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Post Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2023 5:26 pm
Last edited by Cleeem on Wed Aug 09, 2023 3:57 pm; edited 15 times in total
script.yaml — retranslation part 4

 ________________
|                |
| Ville de Paséo |
|________________|


---OLD
Même le gouverneur est en froid avec Lassic.<wait>
---NEW
Il semblerait que le gouverneur général soit en très mauvais termes avec LaShiec.<wait>

---OLD
Le Gouverneur aime les petites douceurs...<wait>
---NEW
Vous aurez besoin d'un cadeau pour rencontrer le gouverneur général.<wait more>
On dit qu'il aime beaucoup les pâtisseries.<wait>

---OLD
La grotte Mahal se situe dans les montagnes au nord de Paséo.<wait>
---NEW
La grotte Maharu où vit un Esper du nom de Lutz se situe dans les montagnes au nord de Paséo.<wait>

---OLD
Bienvenue à Paséo, la capitale de Motavia.<wait>
---NEW
Bienvenue à vous, visiteuse. Vous êtes à Paséo, capitale de la planète Motavia.<wait>

---OLD
Vous ne pouvez pas enjamber les fourmilions_!<wait>
---NEW
Impossible de traverser les nids de fourmilions à pied mais j'ai entendu parler d'un autre moyen...<wait>

---OLD
Vous avez déjà vu un chat parler_?<wait more>
Rare, très rare. Unique en son genre, si je ne me trompe pas.<wait more>
Un milliard de mesetas, et il est à vous. Ca vous convient_?<end>
---NEW
Avez-vous déjà vu une telle créature parler_?<wait more>
Rare, très rare, peut-être la seule et unique en son genre.<wait more>
Un milliard de mesetas et elle est à vous. Qu'en dites-vous ?<end>

---OLD
Sérieusement_?<wait more>
Hé, Où allez-vous?<wait>
---NEW
Ouah ! Sérieusement ?<wait more>
Hé ! Où allez-vous ?<wait>

---OLD
...attendez_!<wait more>
Est-ce un vase en Laconia_?<wait more>
Faisons un marché, le vase contre le chaton_?<end>
---NEW
Attendez un instant...<wait more>
Est-ce un Vase en Laconia ?<wait more>
Faisons un marché, le vase contre cette créature_?<end>

---OLD
Ca me fend le cœur, mais je ne peux pas rater une offre pareille.<wait more>
Prenez bien soin de lui.<wait>
---NEW
Je ne peux pas rater une occasion pareille.<wait more>
Prenez-en bien soin.<wait>

 ____________________
|                    |
| Scénette avec Myau |
|____________________|



---OLD
La rumeur veut qu'il voyage avec un animal parlant.
Serait-ce toi_?<wait>
---NEW
La rumeur dit qu'il voyage avec un animal parlant. Serait-ce toi ?<wait>

---OLD
Tylon a été transformé en pierre en essayant de tuer Médusa_!<wait more>
Nous pouvons le guérir avec cet élixir, mais je n'arrive pas à en retirer le bouchon.<wait more>
Tylon doit toujours être à Scion, sais-tu comment y aller_?<wait>
---NEW
Oui. Tylon a été transformé en statue vivante en affrontant Médusa !<wait more>
Nous pouvons le guérir avec le remède autour de mon cou, mais je n'arrive pas à en retirer le bouchon.<wait>
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Post Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2023 10:16 am
Here's a preview of the name entry screen with all the extra accented characters. I showed uppercase with the removed letters as spaces, but then mixed in the accented characters for the lowercase. I feel like the font is not ideal for some of the letters, suggestions for changes are welcome. How about the layout? Is it better to have the accented characters mixed in or split out like in other languages?
ps1jert.fr.png (59.32 KB)
ps1jert.fr.png
ps1jert.fr-1.png (127.03 KB)
ps1jert.fr-1.png

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Post Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2023 2:52 pm
Maxim wrote
Here's a preview of the name entry screen with all the extra accented characters.

Great !

Maxim wrote
I showed uppercase with the removed letters as spaces

Could you try doing it without spaces to see the difference?
(WY instead of W.....Y)

Maxim wrote
How about the layout? Is it better to have the accented characters mixed in or split out like in other languages?

Spilt out could be better

Maxim wrote
I feel like the font is not ideal for some of the letters, suggestions for changes are welcome.

You could change a little î and ô if you like.
I add an attachment as a suggestion.

Left = now
Right = suggestion
lettres accentuées.png (413 B)
î & ô
lettres accentuées.png

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Post Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2023 7:43 pm
I generally don’t like squashing the letters to make room for accents, and on “e” it’s almost impossible. For the name entry screen, it occurred to me that I have no idea what order would make sense for a native speaker so I tried mixing things in. I’ll do another test with the accented letters moved out like before. Putting spaces for the removed letters helps make it clear that they have been removed, especially when the upper case and lower case alphabets are aligned.

The fonts generally have 2px wide vertical lines because 1px tends to look pretty bad on a real system.
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Post Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2023 8:04 pm
Maxim wrote
I generally don’t like squashing the letters to make room for accents, and on “e” it’s almost impossible.

Yes, that's why I suggested i and o, like you did for u. But no suggestion for a or e for the reason you give.
It's up to you, whatever pleases you. ;-)

Edit
I've updated my old posts once again with colours. ^^
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Post Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2023 8:53 am
Please make sure you are editing the script.yaml because that's what I hope to get at the end :)

Here's the name entry screen with squashed fonts and the accented characters separated again. I left the gaps in so that the upper two rows align.
ps1jert.fr-2.png (52.19 KB)
ps1jert.fr-2.png

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Post Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2023 9:53 am
Maxim wrote
Here's the name entry screen with squashed fonts and the accented characters separated again.

Perfect. :)

Maxim wrote
Please make sure you are editing the script.yaml because that's what I hope to get at the end :)

I'm not sure I understood. Maybe I didn't understand that part either :

Maxim wrote
If you edit the files and later send them to me (or just attach here) then I can easily merge your changes using various programmer-centric tools, much more easily than search/paste :)


In any case, I only publish on the forum at first. When everything's finished, we'll see about making changes to the files, but not before.

Over the last few days, I've spent my time making improvements to the first parts I've already translated.

Lately, however, I've been getting everything right the first time. I've gradually discovered and absorbed all the resources available to me, and now I'm paying tribute to them in the best possible conditions, with a desire to be as faithful as possible to the original version:

  • vintage interview
  • literal version
  • re-translated version
  • book version
  • PS2 version

I have a much broader overview than when I started the project.
I've accepted the idea of doing virtually a complete re-translation.

The forum is a great tool and an ultimate way of helping me to step back. It helps me to improve my work, because what I publish can be read by anyone.

Writing directly in script files wouldn't allow me that kind of distance, nor the desire to fine-tune a whole set of details, sometimes with colors.

I won't be able to comment on all the details of my translation, but I'll refer as far as possible to the sources I've used.

I'd like to thank the forum for being an indispensable tool for gradually obtaining a final, polished work. :-)
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Post Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2023 11:26 am
That's fine, but ultimately I need to update the files in the source to build the ROM, and manually copy/pasting the forum posts may be prone to error. The script file tries (as much as possible) to retain the game order and have contextual comments. It is a bit difficult to navigate as all the languages are next to each other, but I found that's better than trying to maintain parallel files in this case.

Forum posts may attract some suggestions from others, but I know my French proficiency (GCSE grade A circa 1995) so I'm happy to let others take the lead.
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Post Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2023 11:53 am
Maxim wrote
manually copy/pasting the forum posts may be prone to error.

We will avoid that. :-)
I'll give you a single file to use because if I understood, it is possible for you to do something with it. (?) :

Maxim wrote
If you edit the files and later send them to me (or just attach here) then I can easily merge your changes using various programmer-centric tools, much more easily than search/paste :)


If I understand, I need to update the script file myself in my local computer, I'll use good old copy/paste :

  • copy section : copy the ---OLD content from my personal file
  • find section : paste what is to find in the fresh downloaded script
  • copy section : copy the ---NEW content from my personal file
  • paste it into the selection created by the "search for" in the fresh downloaded script


Then, I will send you the script file.
:-)
Downloading the script, updating it and sending it should take about an hour after a hundred or so cut-and-pastes.

Maxim wrote
Forum posts may attract some suggestions from others, but I know my French proficiency (GCSE grade A circa 1995) so I'm happy to let others take the lead.

In fact, I also share my passion for the game and its universe. The more I express things, the more new things may come to my mind. It's a kind of creative process. :-)

Edit

And you can discover the phrases in yellow by placing them in an automatic translator. These are the most creative elements compared to the English version ;-)

Edit again

Maxim wrote
The script file tries (as much as possible) to retain the game order and have contextual comments. It is a bit difficult to navigate as all the languages are next to each other, but I found that's better than trying to maintain parallel files in this case.

This is a great help to make comparisons between literal, US, english and old french versions and I thank you for that ! I even use the Spanish version in some cases.
I treat the translation in the same order.
This will make no difference to the processing speed of updating the French part of the file when the time comes.
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Post Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2023 7:44 pm
Last edited by Cleeem on Mon Aug 07, 2023 9:25 pm; edited 5 times in total
name-entry-data.asm
https://github.com/maxim-zhao/psrp/blob/master/psrp/fr/name-entry-data.asm

  • Sauver > Sauvegarder


menu.yaml
https://github.com/maxim-zhao/psrp/blob/master/psrp/menus.yaml


  • Meseta > Mesetas
  • Meseta > Mesetas
  • Dezoris > Dézoris
  • Bataille > Combat
  • Meseta > Mesetas

Translations that have changed significantly are marked with a + sign and was done with clarity in mind :

  • use of nouns and deletion of verbs for greater readability
  • deletion of plurals for greater readability
  • clear naming, indicating the function of the magic


Alisa combat
    ┌────────────────╖    ┌────────────────╖
    │Soins           ║ -  │Soin            ║
    │Déguerpir       ║ +  │Fuite           ║ fuite d'un combat
    │Traducteur      ║ -  │Traducteur      ║
    │Flammes         ║ -  │Flamme          ║
    │Ligoter         ║ +  │Lien paralysant ║ bloquage d'un ennemi pendant un tour

Myau combat
    ┌────────────────╖    ┌────────────────╖
    │Super Soin      ║ -  │Super Soin      ║
    │Terroriser      ║ +  │Coup Terreur    ║
    │Barrière        ║ +  │Mur physique    ║ protection des attaques physiques
    │Tonifier        ║ +  │Force accrue    ║

Lutz combat
    ┌────────────────╖    ┌────────────────╖
    │Flammes         ║ -  │Flamme          ║
    │Télépathie      ║ -  │Télépathie      ║
    │Tornades        ║ -  │Tornade         ║
    │Barrière Magique║ +  │Mur complet     ║ protection des attaques physiques et magiques
    │Foudre          ║ -  │Foudre          ║

Alisa monde
    ┌────────────────╖    ┌────────────────╖
    │Soins           ║ -  │Soin            ║
    │Téléporter      ║ +  │Retour Eglise   ║ téléportation vers la dernière église visitée

Myau monde
    ┌────────────────╖    ┌────────────────╖
    │Super Soins     ║ -  │Super Soin      ║
    │Déminer         ║ +  │Anti-piège      ║ suppression d'un piège devant soi
    │Passe-muraille  ║ +  │Sortie Donjon   ║ retour à l'entrée d'un donjon

Lutz monde
    ┌────────────────╖    ┌────────────────╖
    │Super Soins     ║ -  │Super Soin      ║
    │Passe-muraille  ║ +  │Sortie Donjon   ║ retour à l'entrée d'un donjon
    │Télépathie      ║ +  │Prévention      ║ détection d'un piège devant soi
    │Desceller       ║ +  │Retrait Sceau   ║ suppression d'un sceau sur une porte scellée magiquement
    │Renaitre        ║ -  │Renaissance     ║



For the rest, I'll have to look at the lists.asm file but I will do it latter. :-)
https://github.com/maxim-zhao/psrp/blob/master/psrp/fr/lists.asm

Are there any other files to look at?
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