Sega Master System / Mark III / Game Gear
The future is now! The gameshows of the past are tame and therefore obsolete. In 1999, the ultimate TV programmes are those which offer the biggest prizes and most blood!
The No.1 rated show is Smash TV. No other programme offers viewers so much action, so many intense thrills. It’s also incredibly challenging — only the toughest players survive. Contestants are sent into closed arenas, armed with a variety of weapons. They must wade through level after level to pick up the ultimate in prizes and the title of Smash TV Champion.
Out to stop them ate the baseball bat maniacs, laser orbs, tanks and other deadly killing devices. At the end of every section are the toughest challenges of all: hideously mutated half human creatures, whose only desire is to stop the unfortunate contestants from reaching their destination. With names like Mutoid Man, Cobra Head and Scarface, these are monsters from your deepest nightmares!
With money the object and their lives to save, the contestants are thrust into this violent world, determined to become rich and famous or die!
As they say, ‘Good luck — you’ll need It!’
Getting straight to the point, Smash TV on the Master System isn’t very good. Well, ‘flicking atrocious’ sums it up more accurately.
The programmers have taken all the good features from the arcade version, Mega Drive version and (spit!) SNES version and left them off the MS. Ta very much.
The graphics are big, ugly and slow, the sound is bleepy and thin on the ground, and the play area’s so small the game bears only a passing resemblance to the original. Instead of running around the arena, ploughing through hordes of enemies and wasting them as you go, on the MS you trudge around a small room and fiddle with the controls until a thug comes along and turns you into a mess on the floor.
Arcade Smash TV had two joysticks, one for movement and one for eight-directional fire. With one joypad and two buttons, it works about as well as I do after 17 pints of Special Brew.
This Is disappointing. They’ve used none of the MS’s capabilities, and palmed us off with a game not worth the plastic it’s made from.
As you probably know, Smash TV was a cracking arcade game released a few years ago, loosely based on the Running Man movie (starring old Arnie). Smash TV leapt onto the SNES this year and has just trotted over to the Mega Drive.
Now the MD’s little bruvver gets a look in and what a disappointment it Is. This game should have had the plug pulled on it while still in development.
The Master System Just isn’t cut out for a game like this. Yes, it’s a great machine and there are some t’rrific games available for it, but Smash TV should have made a quick U-tum here.
One look at the screenshots will show you just how bad the graphics are. Embarrassing little sprites dashing around the screen and suddenly dying, for no apparent reason, is not my idea of fun! The sonics are nothing to write home about and control response is too slow. I have to admit I was expecting something special from Probe but I’m really disappointed. Judge the game for yourself from the screenshots. The MS can do better.
A dire conversion that won’t have you coming back for more